First day

Haha what a day.

Forgot to bring my charger, went to buy 1. Then when i want to charge, my phone back came off. Lucky thing is still can use. So later after work going to have to buy a new phone. Looking to buy Xiaomi 14T Pro.

Now waiting for my laptop, so meantime entertaining myself surfing net. But funny, dunno what to surf.

After I get my laptop, crux is to get everything setup. Will be busy i guess.

Time passes very slowly. 

Googling about dog ordour. Xiaobao smells very badly. She smelled like piss even though i just bathed her. 

I have this feeling she is going to pass on soon. Have to treat her better, but if not for her shit eating habits, I would. If i give her other food, she LS a few days.

I dont dare give her anything to eat, other than the dry food. Need feed her more at night.

I hope I will last longer than my dogs because I know my sisters wont be able to take care of them if I am gone

I am a lousy dog owner, and will not go get any new pets. 不要去害动物。

Penning them down so that I dont forget.

I also could not get my tranexamic acids med. Need to see dr then can. Rescheduled my dr appt earlier.

Aimless

I have almost ran out of youtube videos to watch.

Today having my 2nd heavy menses in Aug, feeling v tired but also restless. Later got to take my meds.

I wish to be productive but at the same time, everything seem pointless.

I focus on one thing at a time. Yesterday was my first swim lesson since 15 years ago. Nostalgic. I still remembered I was very diligent to go swim every alternate day when I was at 养虫公司. Then i found my breast lump issues.

LG had given me 15 years, I am grateful. If i go today, I dont have alot of regrets. 

Today stuck at home because of my period. Scared it leaked. Simon delivered my chairs, which I bought from taobao.... the armchair is too plastic, it wont last long as plastic will crack. Oh well, I will just have to use it.

Picked up ff16 again, getting into the vibes again. Tmr will be my first say back to my ex company, jiayou le.

Thinking of what happens after 6 months

As the days go by, the day to return to my old workplace draw closer.

I feel nothing as nothing much has changed but I believe I will appreciate my old workplace more. The colleagues, the lunch kakis, the Aircon, the freedom to go toilet when I need to, having a desk (I cannot believe I am saying this), a locker, a pantry, 

These are what I have not experienced whether in my usher job, airport or security job. I can't form deep bonds with anyone. Been so for 1 year plus.

I realized I have forgotten how to book a room or even arrange a virtual meeting.

Anyway have to learn from scratch. Jiayou le even if the world falls apart, u can pick yourself up. Absorb like a sponge.

I realized that I cannot blend or mix with younger folks, dunno whether it is a generation gap or not. Don't have much to talk about. My interest are games and personal finance. 

There were times I imagine I was employed in another office setting, then I believe I won't be able to talk with my colleagues who are likely fresh graduates.

Just a lot of thoughts today, that I am literally feeling very left behind. 

But I console myself, even IF I could mix with them, the relationship is superficial. Need not think too much. They won't miss you when you are gone. Zero...

不需要执着，也不需要被想念。这才是真正的自由。

Which sequence of stocks will I liquidate

As the SG stock market rises, I will consider to liquidate my stocks in the following sequence:

- Singtel if it reaches 4.50

- CDL if it reaches 8.00

- Keppel if it reaches 10.00

- Uol if it reaches 10.00

- HLF if it reaches 2.80

Some jobs I wish to try out in future

Florist - go pick up lessons

Pet shop assistant

Retail assistant

Groceries assistant

F&B

Hdb floor leak?

Today I woke up 5am plus so that i can prep the dogs - which mean feeding them and letting them pee and poo. I have to go outside then xiaobai will go and do that. So i did all this before 8am then put them in my room while I wait for the hdb officer to come. 

He was delayed, he came 10.45am (1h45min late) anyway he settled everything by 12.20pm. 

Then i cleaned my room and fell asleep watching yt. Woke up still feeling v tired so i exercised 1hr on the elliptical. Made my maggie mee plus rice plus fang shu ye mixture...

Then decided to write down some thoughts. I think I am developing a phobia for my airport work, I cant bring myself to go do the jobs even though I have all the time. 

I am definitely avoiding but i still need to clear 26hours more. I have to start small, haiz i think i am frightened by all the red taming and unpleasant customer experience but I must not let fear dictate my life. I forgot that 99.9 of the customers are good. 

Slowly but surely, I will pick up the momentum.

Sold all seatrium

Sold all my seatrium shares and waiting to buy Ocbc when it dipped to 12 bucks.