Feeling lost

Yesterday was feeling fatigued from afternoon onwards. Morning, I was still finishing my where wind meet game. Went to 95 to pass family some gifts and food from KL

Skipped erhu and slept at 10pm.

Felt very lost the whole day, I could not find the energy to do anything. 

Maybe because there is nothing to look forward to. Nothing to dream about.

If Lily passed on, I am not sure how I will continue on. Same as ever?

Practise gratefulness that you still have a relatively healthy body and roof over head.

KL trip (4D3N 30 Jan to 2 Feb)

Jotting down my KL itinerary:

Day 1 (flew SIA)

Took espress train to sentral, deposited luggage at Aloft hote

Grabbed to Lalaport buy Mayday blindbox ball

Grabbed to Pavilion, took some pictures of popmart, got 1 chaka cny blindbox

Lunch at Roast duck village restaurant the crispy duck was very nice

Checked in hotel

Tinbox ate some finger food and live music

Day 2

Dim sum at concorde

Petaling jaya - soya bean plus chee cheong dun

Neaeby hotel - fried niangao and super nice claypot rice

Mayday concert

Haidilao supper

Day 3

Village park nasi lemak superb!

Shopping at nearby mall

Shop abit more at one utama

Bak Kut Teh dinner the soup more nicer

Dessert - enjoyed the sesame peanut paste

Day 4

Yong tau foo and wanton mee

Eggtart 

Walked day market

Return to hotel, checked out, shopped at NU mall beside Aloff

Go airport via espress train

Friends after secondary school

I have 2 sec school friends, and i guess one more I made at work.

After I left, only J kept in touch with me because we were exercise buddies. I wonder if I did not maintain the gym membership, will we still be friends?

Gg on my 2nd trip overseas with J. Enjoy everyday, U dunno if it is your last.

没有欲望，平常心对待。老公，我会带着您去Kl的。

Xiaobai dream

Dreamt xiaobai was alive, she looks more like a Pomeranian than a jap Spitz. We were playing around then suddenly she seemed to become very weak and she died again. I cried when she died but then I suddenly recalled she was already dead sland woke up sitting up.

Told my sis and mum, they felt I must be feeling very guilty about not taking care of her well. I look at other people dog and they look so happy, but I look at xiaobai and lily, they looked bad. Why?!!! Initially I was very tempted to get another pet, but I feelni cannot even take care of myself, so I do not want to cause more suffering to any pets.

My health is not good, am having issue with my butthole. Haiz maybe I won't have much time left so just enjoy ba.

FIRE income

My FIRE income is 2k, not able to fully cover my expenses which is 3k a month. Tracked my expenses since Jul 2024, so I can safely say my expenses is this range taking into consideration donations, travels, dental etc.

I still took the plunge and quit. Now back to my stat board as a temp staff, I earn around 2k a month so still can save 1k per month.

My temp stint will end in Aug 2026, after that I will join Uniqlo.

My security job dried up, quit my airport job, quit my museum job.... So no other part time jobs liao. Maybe is also ok, since I am working 3 days a week which is just nice.

Monday will double check with my supervisor if Aug will end so I can find a job nearing Aug.

YS

It has been a long time since I dreamt of him. I remembered we went to a seminar like place and I was singled out by a lady whom said I got 0 income. Then I said though my income is low, my assets are alot. 

Although I cant rem what he said to me, he was beside me. 

I guess he could be telling me to be careful of my monies. I am always careful. Have activated money lock.

Butthole

My butthole had been feeling weird, there is pressure at my butthole when sitting down.

Today finally decided to go let a female doc dig it, cos I touched and there was nothing. I looked and cant see anything.

If it does not improve, will have to be referred to a colon specialist.