Things I learnt from buying alot of bags

Do not buy bags that are:

- heavy

- bulky

- shoulder bag (cos the bag always slip off my shoulders)

- shapeless (i dun like shapeless bags)

- black (dun like full black bags)

I always dont learn and spend on bags only to give away.

A weird dream

Yesterday I had a very vivid dream, there was an old middle aged man, he was advising all of my family about our financial matters. 

He pointed that I had another property, and this property was in a very lousy run down flat, with v long corridors and like only 1 living room and 1 room.

I remembered like I dont even have any furniture in the flat and were always sitting down on the floor.

The dream revolved around me remembering I have this property. I have dreamt a few times about this particular property. The surroundings were always brownish, and crowded.

Telok Blangah? Bukit merah? I never bought any flat in these areas.

Today is my usual sunday routine, bathed Lily. Helped her applied some cream to her skin. Mopped floor. Gg to gym now and going to wash clothes later when back.

Three more days of work and I will have 11 days of leave. Going to genting, kl next sunday.

Jialat v free

I played 3hrs of ps5, cooked lunch which was essentially just heating up my chives, drank 2 coffees. And it is only 11.40am.

Yesterday was also the same. 

What I achieved

Listing things I ever wanted to achieve:

- owning a pet dog [i got 2]

- learning to drive

- learning to swim

- own my home [fully paid]

- getting married

- ran 3 marathons

- travelled to some places

- had a career

- ps5

I have alot to be grateful for.

Yesterday I dreamt LG bought something for his ex wife and I were jealous. I cant rem the details but it seemed like he want someone else to take over his tablet. When I woke up, I were confused because I did not make a tablet becos he did not want me to. Anything just go mandai pray.

Lg, 你需要我做什么呢？我不明白。

Oh no v v restless

I am not sure what is going on, I noticed this this week. 

I cannot concentrate and keep want to do something. But I do not know what to do. Need go google this.

In the end, worked on my eliptical for 1hour while youtubing.

I am trying not to play another ps5 game until the zhong kui is out. Meantime, can only read, color, play music or youtube at home. gg slp early

Everything we own except money, will be trash

Bear this in mind, if I were to bonk off from this world today. Everything I own, except money and house, will be trash that is either thrown away or donated away.

Dont accumulate more bags or stuff.

Spend time with family

Today is wed and I am going out with G to bugis.

Life is short, live it.

Lily

No more bags till end of the year

Mum said yesterday she got a feeling Lily will be gone soon. Writing this down to see how it goes.

I think not :) compared to xiaobai, whom I dreamt died, I have not dreamt of Lily dying ... choi

Bags and jewellery are not investment

For the past few weeks, been watching some youtuber talk about this. It hit me abit more when I see people post on youtube, them trying to sell their stuff to survive.

I did not have any designer bags, but I bought 2 marc jacob bags this year. The bags are heavy, yesterday I took the canvas one out for erhu lesson but it irritatingly keep rolling my shorts up. Whether I used it as a shoulder bag or crossbody, my shorts kept getting rolled up. 

Had an impulse to just throw it away but no, I am going to raze it to ashes :)

Feeling blessed that I am in a very blessed position where I am not living paycheck to paycheck and having stresses. 一人吃饱全家温饱。

This probably hit at the right moment since I was very pigued by some bags recently, one is Hermes Geta bag and the other Tocco Hobo bag. The Geta bag cost 9k... while the hobo bag costs 200++. Would I stop going after bags after I get these. So if no, why keep buying only to give them away later.

Save your money. Then spend on what.

As I reflect, I went back to watching luxury bags youtube videos. Mainly to pass time and dont use my brain.

Today, washed clothes, shaved Lily as she is having some rashes, mopped floor, practised erhu at home (did not go for rehearsal due to heavy menses), colored, tidied up my display, am thinking how to optimise my rack for my vinyl plushies.

一事无成，只要活着都是幸福

Today was a rainy friday. Played ps5, practised erhu, guzheng, even did coloring.

Then came back from guzheng with mum. Ate biscuits for bf and dinner.

I came across a video that said the title of this blog. it is true, living is the meaning.

No need to compare, and no need to envy. But recently I came across a bag.... that pigued my interest.... Tocco Tuscano Luisa Hobo bag. ah it is living rent-free in my head. I must persevere.

Spent 60 on sailormoon

Have a soft spot for sailor neptune, uranus and pluto stuff. Went with G to tampines and went to CS to see some blindbox. Saw the qposket figurines on sale so decided to just buy the 3.

Then earlier I thought I had bag peace until I come across another bag Tocco Tuscano Luisa Hobo bag suede in Navy blue.

Shit....keep looking for it and it is available on lazarda for 233.

NOOOO...no more bags. Must use my current bag. 

Bubble bursting

Waiting for the ai and spacex bubble to burst. 

What happens if I have 10mil

Likely will get a big condo that have at least 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and 2 living rooms. House the 4 of us.

Remaining split between 4 of us, then ba long long....how to pass time?

Go exercise, swim everyday. Play my erhu and guzheng. Eat home cooked food.

Donate some to charities. Go Hongkong macau, fly biz class. Go MBS gamble abit.

hmm nothing productive

Lazy sunday

My sunday is a household chore day, bathe Lily, wash her bed, mop floor and wash clothes. Also went gym with J.

Today also bought and cut oranges for Lily.

Must save my mula and spend at the genting KL. 忍

Recently had not bought anything for myself, no clothes, no shoes, no bags. Opps but bought popmart (only exception and obsession).

I really had reached bag peace. I think no bags can beat my current bags. Am enjoying my bags.

Recently started using carlo rino bag and started to enjoy it.

Just finished coloring another lady pic, and it is 7pm...the night is still young. If i sleep now, likely will wake up at 2pm. Tonight turning in early because woke up at 4am plus.

How to spend another 2hours, maybe reading.

why I started a new YouTube channel

Blogging this down so that I do not forget.

My sis encouraged me to set up a new YouTube channel because I am very bored.

I finally did it and did some shorts. But today I decided to try to record me playing erhu and then sharing my life.

Views were miserable but I felt settled. Because it took me energy and time to just do it. I think I must have played the same erhu song for 20++ times because always made mistakes.

Why not right. Continue to do even if views were zero.

Started a new youtube channel outof boredom

Yesterday I finally started a new youtube channel, on my daily life.

Just plan to share some facets of my life, I guess is to create a legacy of there ever was one.

Mainly was due to boredom. Dont know what to do with myself so hopefully this yt can keep me occupied.

Starting with shorts. Proababy will move on to video from there.

More popmart

I bought 2 popmart plushies yesterday. 50 bucks flew away but I consoled myself firstly that although I spent alot, but I had not spent more than I earned (salary plus 2k dividend a month).

This is a cheaper hobby compared to collecting luxury bag.

I think I can safely say I reached bag peace, I do not see any bag that can surpassed my current bags. Need to use my bags.

Sidetracked. I comtemplated making a youtube channel on FI but when I tried recording, I failed. 

Anyway I think just stick to figurines ba.

Wwm sunk more mula into it

Hee I paid 7.20 for the wwm monthly fund. To save money, I ate lunch at home and wont eat anything later when I go to erhu class later.

This is how I save money.

Nice cendol

Went out today with Wj, Sm to have a vegan lunch, dessert at Yat Ka Yan amd lastpy coffee.

The cendol, though a bit pricey at 4, was gao. They gave alot of gula melaka sugar, red beans, and the green jelly.

Xiaomi 15T pro for G

Yesterday, sneakily I went to buy a xiaomi 15T pro (850) for my sister G. She was very vexed that I spent so much.

Why I decided to splurge on this, because she is going for a surgery soon and she is not sure she could survive it. She kept saying so.

I wish to encourage her to look forward, to put her mind away from the thoughts. And enjoy the phone.

Her old phone video quality was quite bad.

I know if she were to go buy a phone, she would buy the cheapest. Totally understand because she spends alot on her medical fees every month.

This phone was only what little I could think of to brighten her up. I hope she enjoys the phone, the camera etc no matter what happens, it is all up to heaven. 

Live in the now.

Heavy and long menses

This month menses is very abnormal, am I sick? Or just going through peripause?

Need to monitor.

Be prepared for bad news.

Shit I am very bored

Something has been bothering me, I feel very restless. Whether on my working day or non working day, I feel time passed too slowly. Is something wrong with me? 

Wanted to play ps5 the whole day, ended up playing three hours. Then did 300 kettlebell swings, folded clothes, had lunch at the China lady stall and went sheng siong. Back at home before 1pm, played erhu.

YouTube and did some coloring till now, 5.25pm.

Is this the end?

Thinking too much, need to occupy myself. Probably later will do some reading before sleeping.

What lifestyle do I really want?

After reaching FI, I realized I did not think of the life I would want to have.

I just thought I would get a part time job that pays me 1k a month, and with my dividend income of 2k++, I have enough to cover my expenses. Also, I won't feel so disconnected from the work since minimally I will still be working.

Fast forward 2 years from jul 2024, I still struggle to sleep, but not as bad as before. I still do not know how to fill my time. So I took up swimming, erhu (one to one) and guzheng. They can't fill up my days though.

Now my Thursdays and Fridays are off, so I have 4 free days a week to enjoy life.

Going forward, I will go swimming on Friday mornings, guzheng at evening. Then erhu 2.30pm on Saturdays, then go gym on Sunday.

Most of the time, will be spent gaming. I am still playing where wind meet, trying to play it sparingly. Will continue to color and after that, will do my jigsaw puzzle.

Coloring was something I restarted and it is something for me to put my mind off work which could occupy my mind. Have a tendency to ruminate a lot.

Mortgage free

Today when I was woken up by Lily at 4plus am, I checked my phone and was checking my cc bill when I saw that my outstanding loan is gone. 

Yay, a very big relief. Took me 5 years to settle 293k housing loan. LG, hope u received the news up there.

Lazy sat

Hmm I realised something, I cannot watch a youtube video without doing something else.

It rained the whole day and I only went out to eat dinner at my fav china lady stall. Oh man, she told me she is moving go Blk 128, that is so far. I would not go there just to eat her stall.

Anyway, I think I will stick to my zcp and thai food and nasi lemak.

For past 2 weeks, I had been eating red bean soup to replenish my iron and protein. Had a v heavy menses for 2 weeks straight, and having lightheadedness and headaches.

Today was playing wwm then I finally used the echo beads to buy an outfit I like. Why i hesitate so long when I could easily spend 100 bucks on food, toys.

This game had kept me company for past 6 months, they should earn some money from me. I told myself i should not exceed 80 bucks. So far, spent 13bucks. 67 more to go.

Bag peace

I think I have reached bag peace with my latest cheap taobao bag, just a few bucks but fit wonders.

When I browse zalora now, I cannot find any bags that can rival it. Real or not?!

So i think i wont be buying any more bags but am thinking of selling my marc jacob tote bag. Am sitting on this in case I regret. It is a white elephant. Cos it is too heavy and when I go out far, I easily get tired due to the sheer weight of it on my shoulders. Maybe when I were younger, I would not mind but now at 43, any extra weight also easily make my knee ache.

Should I sell my marc jacob leather bag? Shall ponder over this if not,  just wear it till it breaks. Maybe I wait for my shoulder pad first and try it out. Dont make hasty decisions.

But recently I got pigued when I see hermes geta bag but it is a whooping 9k..  why would I spend that?

Donations

For past 2 weeks when I was having really heavy menses, I felt so tired that I was able to sleep throughout the night. A good side effect? Am reminded I am living on borrowed time.

I donated 500 bucks to children cancer foundation. Think I do not have much time left. This brings the amount donated this year to 4700. Almost donating 1k a month.

Being able to be generous with my money, what is a kind of freedom itself. 

Thinking to buy a good phone for Geoky next, before she goes for her operations. See when she is gg for the op.

Gift while the money makes a difference. Die with zero.

Being having dreams about wj, yesterday vaguely remembered her saying Laos had nothing so she is back in sg. Maybe overthinking too much, to each his own, to each a path they had to walk themselves.

活着就是意义

They never interfered in my life when I got to know and married YS. Nor should I.

Knowing when to walk away and when not to.

Do I have bossom friends or am I even soneone's bossom friend? I think not.

Debt free

Am officially debt free after my cpf deduction to fully repay my loan went through yesterday.

My bedok flat is ours now, LG. A pity u could not see this day but I still think u will know.

It is been 5 years since we bought this old bedok flat. I will always remember how we ended up buying this flat. It was accidental.

My journey of house buying will end here liao, I have went through 2 times of buying a flat and one time selling one. This will be our forever home until I am no longer on earth? Who knows what happens in the future.

Now my CPF OA has 5k. 

I feel contented. There is no more pressure.

Tmr is my Big day

Tmr is my big milestone day, not my big day as had done that.

It marks the end of my mortgage paying days. My cpf OA would be almost emptied after tmr to repay my mortgage.

It had been 5 years, happy but sad that hubby never got to see and feel this day. Live in the moment and rejoice. I wonder what he would say to me.

Hurray the house is finally ours. One less thing off my bucket list.

After FI

Ever since I reach FI, I felt a very big load of pressure evaporate. The pressure further went down when I quit my AD post in Jul 2024. My insomnia got better.

Then I rejoined as a temporary M who only works 3 days a week. Where can I find such a job :) There were indeed times when I woke up at 3am and cant sleep especially when I was rushing for project. But throughout, I told myself i already did my best. If things went south, I could walk away.

The pressure (mostly from myself to perform) was not as bad as before.

Basically am at a point where I am contented with life but having some health issuses. May menses were abnormally heavy maybe my time is almost up. I hope my home loan is settled before I were to go. 

I also want to see if there are opportunities for me to 散财 while I am still around.

If the bad news hit, I will quickly liquidate my stocks holdings and distribute most to my family first, leaving abit for my remaining days. My home will be passed to my sisters. Rite wise, if ah yin around then taoist else a buddhist one will do. I will want to plant my ashes in a field I guess. Guess wont feel so lonely.

Bag and shoes from Taobao

Got another new bag and shoes from Taobao.

On my, think I got a 贱命， can only use cheap bags. The taobao bag fits me perfectly. It has the dimensions I were looking for, 26cm length.

It can fit alot more than my carlo rino bag which is very stiff.

Well the carlo rino bag puts me off the chanel boy bag which I was interested in. It scratch the itch permanently.

My marc jacb leather bag will be my friday bag for erhu and guzheng lesson. It can fit alot but it is damn heavy.

Please no more bags. Need to use all my other bags.

Another carlo rino bag

I got a new and damn small carlo rino bag, erm thought I will be happy ans guess what, I am not. 

The bag is to scratch my itch of a chanel boy bag, and today used it when I went opposite to eat lunch.

The bag is a bit too small, I think I need to learn from this. I prefer bags that are 28cm length.

This was 24 but it feels smaller. I must use it at least 80 times.

Decided to donate 2 bags away.

Bought 2 marc jacob bags, 1 speedy like bag, 1 colorful tote and now this bag. Got another taobao red bag coming. When it comes, i will donate my tote away? See how, very very spendy but if I dont spend, I also dunno what to do with the money. Have donated some.

Where Wind Meets

This is a free game to download. Never regret downloading the game, it is quite enchanting especially the stories and the pugilist world. 

Had been playing since Dec 2025 and recently spent 4.50 (yea that is right) to buy 3 sets of costume.

Well, need to let the game company earn some so that they continue to churn out nice stories and stuff.

Compared to other games where I easily spent 40 to 80ish to buy the game, why not slowly spend the same amount playing this game.

Speaking of which, I did not complete my lies of P part 2, the game is just too dark and heavy to play. 

Rather play wwm which has a mixture of dark and light heartedness stories, sub plots and adventure.

Flex

There are some finfluencers that I totally do not want to watch, reason being I feel that they are flexing silently e.g like saying they earn 5 figures per month, they are buying xx million dollar condos.

It feels very out of touch especially if you are earning a low pay. I did not think too much because in the past, I was earning a very good pay but after quitting and taking on a temp role, my pay is 1/3 of what it used to be.

As I watch finfluencers or read reddit, it kinda feel off when they talk about FI with xx millions etc.

Maybe it is just me but those strategies they advocate could hardly apply to people who are living paycheck to paycheck.

I was able to reach barista FIRE by 41 mainly because I had a very high income and could save more and channel those to investments. I remembered back in 2008,2009 I was not able to because I was only earning 2400 per month. Takehome was 2kish.

So for a long time, I had no savings until I switched job and gradually watched my income 4x over 14 years.

Anyway they do theirs, I do I. Now just feeding off my dividend income of 2k per month and income from my temp job which ranges from 1800 to 2800 takehome depending on my hours worked.

Diamond painting

My sister intro me to 5D diamond painting and the rest is history. It has been many years and I used it to stop my rumination.

It made me concentrate on something so that my mind do not wander.

Recently my sister asked me to help finish hers so I am using 2hours a day to stick the beads on it.

I remembered when hubby passed away, I bought 2 diamond painting and it sure helped me pass time. Therapeutic.

Just bought a 1000 pc harry potter jigswa that I intend to start after my diamond painting is done. 

Peers

April is the month where promotion happens. This year there were 4 promotions in my department. 

This year, I felt different from last year. Last year, I felt very jealous (out of nowhere) when one of my team was promoted to section head. She definitely deserved the promotion because she is someone who takes things in her stride and deliver. I was ashamed that I actually felt so jealous.

I was perplexed at my own emotions - if I am jealous of people getting ahead in life, why then did I leave in Jul 2024. These reflection allowed me to calm down and think through quietly. 

My colleagues are mostly at the peak of their life, chiong-ing for their families and themselves. I, on the other end, have no more need to chiong as there is only myself. 

Everybody's life is different and everyone has their values and goals. I already have enough to last me tbrough life. There is no need for me to accumulate promotions or whatsnot as they no longer matter. 

I dont feel happier with more money, what is more with titles. 

I did not have very expensive lifestyle. And do not really like to travel far nowadays.

So back to this year April, I did not feel a tinge of jealously because I know the hard work behind the promotion. I no longer want to lose appetite nor sleep over work. 有钱没命花. My mental and physical health are most important. They suffered alot and got even worse after my hubby passing.

Now, it has been 4 years since my hubby death. It still feel very recent.

I feel contented with my life. If I still want to climb the corporate ladder, I would not have quit. No regrets.

One could say that maybe I am jaded but after my husband passing, you could say I did 看开 certain things.

Health is true wealth...nothing can bring back the health once it is lost. I had some health scares since 2022 and it made me realised what truly mattered.

No amount of accolades or career progression or money could bring back the health lost. Family is also important. Spending time with them is vital.

I have grown and who knows how long I still have. There is no need to hanker after things that never was yours to have. 德不配位，为了什么呢？最终职场上，还不是一场空？

No bag peace

I started compulsively buying bags because of one habit. I could only shit when finger-shopping bags.

I will try to shit daily in the morning and a few years ago, I discovered I would shit when browsing stuff.

So to keep shitting daily, I finger shopped daily and inevitably I would come across some nice ones that I eventually bought.

Tried to change to ps5-ing to trigger the same response but it is not usually successful. Sometimes it works sometimes it does not.

Recent two days, I could not shit despite finger shopping or ps5ing. I had to press my stomache to shit but this is not healthy given my piles condition just 2 months ago.

Haiz something weighing on my mind. Maybe I need drink payaya milk shake every alternate day or so.

Has to monitor the situation as it goes.

Sold UOL

I sold my UOL shares at 9.82 per share. I should have sold it when it hit 11 but i was greedy.

I still wanted to wait till it hit 10 dollars but as I monitored the US Iran war, I felt we are in for a long ride. 

Inflation would be very jialat 6 to 12 months down the road. Then if interest rate rises, reits and property developers would suffer. 

Regret abit about buying Mapletree Industrial Trust cos it might have rights issue especially in high interest environment.

So after selling UOL, would buy more shares of vicom.

Isetan nex

On April fool day, I brought my mum to Isetan at Nex. 

We had lunch at Oriental Kopi and did shopping damages of 400plus.

I myself bought alot of patch clothing and shoes, 2 pillow case and 1 can opener.

Being spending quite abit. Bought marc jacob bags 208 and 480. 

Now had too many bags and still wan to buy more. Trying to resist.

Will be buying a nice water bottle on 4 April. Saw this water bottle at isetan but it was sold out 

Sanrio Labubu Kuromi

I bought three sanrio labubu blindbox and guess what, I got the same designs 3 times - Kuromi ...

Haha what are the odds and so I said to my sis before if I got kuromi the third time, I will tio toto so I went to buy $5 quickpick.

Where wind meet

I finally spent 1.50 on the where wind meet ps5 free game, to buy a nice looking set of costume. 

The game was free and it had kept me company for 3 months. Need let the company and its staff earn some real money from me.

Thought about it for 2 days and just went ahead with it because I feel ww3 coming, no point delaying any more wants.

Also I got my sanrio kuromi labubu. 一盒定江山.

Sidetrack, previously donated 500 to Baby ginny and I am happy they raised the 2.4m drugs needed to give her a chance at normal life.

500 HK shares of Alibaba

Today I went out 11am plus because I was afraid of the cockroaches that would come out after fogging. Took bus 33 to bras brasah complex and was very early. Decided to go bugis Uniqlo to see if I could find the fleece sweater and I did, and it was 29.90 (10 bucks cheaper).Very happy because recently bought a very coarse jacket on zalora which I intend to give away liao.

Hopefully I do not feel so cold at office with the sweater. If it can keep me warm, will bring back my bomber jacket.

Today was very very hot, I kept sweating...finally home after pizzahut dinner with G and mum. She bought a cheapo sanrio cinnonroll but she got what she wanted. 

I still have 2 on the run unboxings that I have not opened :)

Got distracted, while waiting for my erhu lesson, I was contemplating buying more sg stocks but the ones I am eyeing still have not bottomed a lot, so decided to use my moomoo to buy around 68k worth which is 500 Alibaba shares at 123.90.

Last swimming lesson

I picked up swimming in Aug 2025. This was after a long time think from my pioneer and leaders publisher days.

I remembered back in 2008, I joined the company and within a very short while especially after I came back from my taiwan trip, I put on so much that I decided to learn swimming to lose weight.

Why I decided to pick up swimming after 19 years, well, I kept having the fear of drowning. Even last night, I dreamt I fell into a very deep pool and was drowning.

Now I can swim freestyle and breaststroke. Last time, was only able to swim breaststroke.

My coach may be going overseas, so maybe at most once amonth. I will need to go swim at heartbeat.

When did I stop grinding?

Two years after YS passed away and after settling his medical bill and selling off the car.

I remembered tendering 2 months before Jul 2024, and by July, I settled his medical bill.

In a month or more, I will settle my mortgage. 

Now need to monitor my insurance premium in May then keep the expensive rider until my kidney problem is more clear. This will be in Aug.

Come this Aug, I will be back to my old job for a year. 离不开它

Very free at work, will use the opportunity to learn jap :)

Mandai qingming

Today, we did our qingming pray at mandai for YS. This is the 4th year and did some chatting with ys daughters.

They seemed happy.

Usually after the session, I would feel tired but I cant sleep. 

Tried to sleep but only managed a short while so just get myself up to sit and write my blog. 

I have enough

Cannot sleep... so woke up to do some wuliao stuff at 3am.

Was wondering for myself, whar had kept me moving? To sum up, is the idea that one day, I could tell him what I have experienced these past years.

Can I solo travel before my time? This is something weighing on my mind.

Is there something I can do at night when I have alot of time?

Din feel like playing ps5 at night, ended up having lotsa of time. Cant sleep as much as I like.

I am grateful, I have everything I need. 

Bought a leather mj tote

Just spent 480 for a medium marc jacob tote bag. I just bought one canvas one for 208, and now I just spent 480 for a leather tote....i need to stop.

Lost 10kg

I remembered I was 70kg back in Jan 2024. Reason was I just came back from ipoh trip with friends and weighed myself.

Got a very rude shock. Always thought I am ok weight. I was at my heaviest.

When I think back, I was doing the same things as I was, even training for marathons. But the weight did not come off. 

It started gradually coming down especially after I tendered my resignation. The stress from my work wore off and the weight just came down. Plus I was working in part time jobs that need me to stand.

2 years on, my current weight is 60kg. Maintain this weight and monitor if lose weight suddenly. Not a good sign

Build more muscles. Remember this. 

Donations

Ever since he passed on, I made several donations in his name. Did a simple calculations, in past 4 years, I have made about 11k donations.

I wish to 散财 while I can. Did not want my surviving siblings to bear this burden, I shall donate as and when I wish.

Don't forget that there are always people in worse situations, be grateful and do good while u can.

My path to FI

Am I fire? Financial independence retire early?

I would say I am. Why?

Early on, I did some calculations that my FI number would be 500k in investment.

I hit this number only after ys death. But as mentioned earlier, this joy of hitting my FI was lost when he passed on. No point to FI if nobody to spend time with.

I adamantly quit in 2024 July, because I hate my job. I need to manage 2 staff and a few major projects. Ever since my hubby's death in 2022 Aug, I decided to quit my cushy and highly paid job, I endured for another 2 years because I had to pay for the car and his medical expenses 33k. 

As I reflect now, I never regret this decision because I was on the point of mental and physical breakdown. I took a break and then as I was truly bored, started part time jobs in Dec 2024.

The partime jobs were not easy, I gained a newfound respect for anyone doing such jobs.

Now I have quit my partime job and went back to my old company as a temp staff earning a comfy 2kish. I went back because I wanted a job that can keep me active mentally.

How many friends can I ask if I need to borrow money?

I asked myself this question, if I am ever in need of money, who can I ask?

Only 2 names come up, and one did not because she does not have money even if I asked. 

Although the real test of a friendship is usually during trying times, I hope I wont ever need to. The other 2 would be my sisters.

I dont believe in having many friends especially since most are superficial. Though I cannot say I forge deep bonds with my friends, I think they are not the 见死不救。Vice versa, I would lend them even if they cannot pay back.

1 March lazy sunday

Later am going 313 to meet with ASM colleagues for a dinner.

Had bathed lily and swept mopped floor. Practised erhu abit.

Now not sure where to go. Later go google 313 do what

Insurance

There are many times I wish to terminate my medishield rider which costs me 250 a month. It would only go up further. Have to see what is the revision come May.

There are a few health concern:

1) am i having kidney prob? Do i need kidney dialysis?

2) breast lumps - cancer

3) recent piles problem - bowel cancer?

4) menses heavy - anemia

Will I be able to afford the treatment if i downgrade? Or should I continue to dong till 2028 where we will be forced to downgrade.

The reason I bought the most comprehensive rider was so that I need not worry about the costs should something unfortunate happen. Hmm should just continue to grit thru and see how it goes for the next 2 years.

Temple day

After my blood and urine test at Bedok polyclinic, I went with mum and G to bedok 法主公和太阳公庙。

So happened there was a celebration at 法主公庙， lion dance and dragon dance. 

Later we went to eat lunch and dinner at Botak Jones, cannot use cdc vouchers. I treated them lunch and drinks. Always like the coffeeshop as it is very airy. A good way to just la kopi on a hot day.

FIRED or not FIRED?

 Am I FIRED? Definition of FIRE is commonly known as Financial Independence Retire Early. In my mind, I think I am. I retired early or quit my job end July 2024. Back then, I had enough investment dividends to provide a monthly income of 2k. 

This was enough to pay for all my key essentials excluding adhoc medical expenses, travel expenses and donations, so essentially I am lean FIRE. Anything adhoc would have to come out from my savings and there were, dental expenditures, travel expenses and donations.

So I did part time work to earn ~800 per month or so to cover for these adhoc expenditure. So if I used my expenditure for 2025 as a real gauge, I am spending average 3k a month so my investment dividends of 2k is definitely not enough to cover it. More accurately, I am Barista FIRED where I need part time income to cover the shortfall of 1k.

I found a partime job that pays me on average 2k a month, so I could still save 1k a month and use it to build my investment dividends to 3k a month.

Although I cannot help but think that I will not live so long, with almost 1mil of liquid investments, why am I still striving to up my dividend income. What is the point anyway? I cannot possibly consume all 1mil in my lifetime and it is pointless in a way to keep accumulate.

I read the book, Die with Zero. I am still spending, am not curbing it in any way - spending on bags, clothes, popmart, music lessons but maybe it is time to change my mindset to decumulate - I donated more last year and spend more. Thinking of going solo trip to Hong Kong - something weighing on my mind but I realise the peace I seek, that peaceful feeling, I recently had an epiphany moment while waiting to go to my office. I was looking outside  Novena shopping mall, and that dawn, it triggered me to remember a time where the morning was very peaceful.

Hard to put into words, that nearing dawn light - is it what I had been seeking. I asked myself why do I need to travel to enjoy peace? I couldn't because I couldn't sit still without worrying about going to the toilet.

E.g. if I want to go climb a hill, or a garden or wherever, I worry about the toilet. 

Maybe I should take some time to go wander around Singapore - I pinpointed 2 spots - Paya Lebar MRT walking to Aljunied hawker centre, I reminisced about the times LG and I having pig stomach soup and rice, and the wanton mee. It was our first dating spot. We like to go there because it is quiet and yet not too quiet. There are things to eat, maybe occasionally shop. Ever since LG passed on, I had never been there. Maybe it would be hard, but I need to move on and probably going to such places could help me move on.

I largely have moved on, but I did not also want to forget the times we had. So here I am jotting such memories down in case one day, I shall forget them.

The second spot is the Kallang river. 

Hmm, how should I build my routine also to include swimming? 

Marc jacob tote

Will I finally have bag peace?

I got the bag I wanted since 2 years ago. The price is 208, cheaper than the 280 price of the tote bag I got fr Japan.

The new tote bag is abit smaller, and the fabric is not as thick, so it is not as heavy. 

I hope even after my bag fades, I will still use it and not give away.

There are a few bags I will not give away, my braun buffel, my cat backpack, my taiwan LV bag, my newest elle sporty bag and now my newest mj tote bag. 

Bag peace

Erhu one-to-one

I actually had harboured the thought to sign up with my erhu teacher on one to one basis. Maybe after hearing about G needing to go for a surgery, it is time to yolo for real.

4 lessons 260 a month. Why not? Went back to tabulate my monthly expenses, would be 2400 which is not excessive. 

Just do it and go with no regrets!

Didn't I want to allow myself to spend 30,000, this should be my chance. I can go for classes for 15 years haha.

Bought a blue marc jacob tote

I just bought a marc jacob tote bag (blue shadow) for 208 bucks.

This was after I gave away my grey blue marc jacob tote bag which I bought in Mar 2024 from Japan.

I always wanted the blue color one but when I was in Japan, the salesperson brought me the grey blue one which I did not realised until we were back in the hotel. Back then the medium size (length 34cm) was 280sgd.

Today while browsing zalora, it was priced 218, and further discount the final price was 208 with free shipping. It was too good a deal to let go. I hope I dont regret and throw this bag away.

This would be my own birthday pressie. I remembered last year bought braun buffel and caro rino, the year before was my xiaomi pad.

Well since I made some profits in investment, I shall reward myself abit.

Reread my blog

Spent hours re reading my blog entries to review my cny days. Blogging has helped to relieve me of some anxiety and I wish to preserve my memories in case it failed.

LG, happy cny and may we meet again! 

Lazy sunday

Sundays are usually just bathing Lily, wash her mattress and mopping floor. After that, nothing to do except youtube. Tend to be very aimless and will splurge and buy bags on impulse.

Have many bags already but I still feel like buying.

I am thinking of starting a youtube channel on FI but I am hesistant. There are already many good SG youtubers on FI and myself, I have a very myopic view.

I have only invested in stocks and once in fixed deposits. I dont have alot of content compared to others, and I doubt I can make alot of videos. 

Mainly because I have nothing to do. I tried to learn japanese but gave up, third time already. Cannot do programming. 

Since yesterday, have started to read out loud my late father's book on Taoism. Manage to read a few pages. Hope I can persist.

Vicom

I reinvested the monies from the sale of citydevt to vicom. After I bought 55k shares, it announced a good quarterly results resulting in higher share price, and a higher dividend payout.

Decided to invest in Vicom because it is a stable industry with a decent dividends payout.

Currently a lot of share prices are still high, so even though Singtel had reached 5 dollars, I decided to keep the shares until I could find a replacement share to reinvest in.

CNY 2026

Documenting how I spent my cny:

- chuxi - worked half day, went gym, ate dinner at mum place

- chuyi - went to eat lunch and dinner at mum place. Videoed DBZ labubu video with Geoky

- chuer - went eat steamboat at mum place. Used my steamboat pot, ate alot of meat slices

- chusan - planning to go Funan popmart with G

- chusi - go xia  dan gong and qing long ye temple

Spring cleaning 2026

This year, I cleaned 

- windows

- stove

- kitchen cabinet (threw unused stuff plus clean)

- kitchen wall

- replaced my bedroom cabinet with new

- used bedroom cabinet as she shelf

- tv console

- living room and kitchen lamps

Hmm have been trying to minimize the furniture in my house. 

I don't think I could downsize my wardrobe, maybe I will start fr my wardrobe. Will be after cny liao.

5383

After LG passed on, I remembered I missed him so I told myself, if I see this car plate number, it means he is with me.

When travelling overseas, I saw this number on a few occasions

- japan trip at the airport

- hongkong trip at an alley way

- recent KL trip near petaling jaya

occassionally I see this number around my neighbourhood, I take it as a sign of his presence.

大扫除

Today I need to whoop my ass and clean the kitchen cabinets. Something I have been putting off and to help me, I brought a clean mop from a random guy under a pasar malam tent at Bedok central. Cost me 15 bucks.

Resting now aa just taken lunch. Will start soon.

Feeling lost

Yesterday was feeling fatigued from afternoon onwards. Morning, I was still finishing my where wind meet game. Went to 95 to pass family some gifts and food from KL

Skipped erhu and slept at 10pm.

Felt very lost the whole day, I could not find the energy to do anything. 

Maybe because there is nothing to look forward to. Nothing to dream about.

If Lily passed on, I am not sure how I will continue on. Same as ever?

Practise gratefulness that you still have a relatively healthy body and roof over head.

KL trip (4D3N 30 Jan to 2 Feb)

Jotting down my KL itinerary:

Day 1 (flew SIA)

Took espress train to sentral, deposited luggage at Aloft hote

Grabbed to Lalaport buy Mayday blindbox ball

Grabbed to Pavilion, took some pictures of popmart, got 1 chaka cny blindbox

Lunch at Roast duck village restaurant the crispy duck was very nice

Checked in hotel

Tinbox ate some finger food and live music

Day 2

Dim sum at concorde

Petaling jaya - soya bean plus chee cheong dun

Neaeby hotel - fried niangao and super nice claypot rice

Mayday concert

Haidilao supper

Day 3

Village park nasi lemak superb!

Shopping at nearby mall

Shop abit more at one utama

Bak Kut Teh dinner the soup more nicer

Dessert - enjoyed the sesame peanut paste

Day 4

Yong tau foo and wanton mee

Eggtart 

Walked day market

Return to hotel, checked out, shopped at NU mall beside Aloff

Go airport via espress train

Friends after secondary school

I have 2 sec school friends, and i guess one more I made at work.

After I left, only J kept in touch with me because we were exercise buddies. I wonder if I did not maintain the gym membership, will we still be friends?

Gg on my 2nd trip overseas with J. Enjoy everyday, U dunno if it is your last.

没有欲望，平常心对待。老公，我会带着您去Kl的。

Xiaobai dream

Dreamt xiaobai was alive, she looks more like a Pomeranian than a jap Spitz. We were playing around then suddenly she seemed to become very weak and she died again. I cried when she died but then I suddenly recalled she was already dead sland woke up sitting up.

Told my sis and mum, they felt I must be feeling very guilty about not taking care of her well. I look at other people dog and they look so happy, but I look at xiaobai and lily, they looked bad. Why?!!! Initially I was very tempted to get another pet, but I feelni cannot even take care of myself, so I do not want to cause more suffering to any pets.

My health is not good, am having issue with my butthole. Haiz maybe I won't have much time left so just enjoy ba.

FIRE income

My FIRE income is 2k, not able to fully cover my expenses which is 3k a month. Tracked my expenses since Jul 2024, so I can safely say my expenses is this range taking into consideration donations, travels, dental etc.

I still took the plunge and quit. Now back to my stat board as a temp staff, I earn around 2k a month so still can save 1k per month.

My temp stint will end in Aug 2026, after that I will join Uniqlo.

My security job dried up, quit my airport job, quit my museum job.... So no other part time jobs liao. Maybe is also ok, since I am working 3 days a week which is just nice.

Monday will double check with my supervisor if Aug will end so I can find a job nearing Aug.

YS

It has been a long time since I dreamt of him. I remembered we went to a seminar like place and I was singled out by a lady whom said I got 0 income. Then I said though my income is low, my assets are alot. 

Although I cant rem what he said to me, he was beside me. 

I guess he could be telling me to be careful of my monies. I am always careful. Have activated money lock.

Butthole

My butthole had been feeling weird, there is pressure at my butthole when sitting down.

Today finally decided to go let a female doc dig it, cos I touched and there was nothing. I looked and cant see anything.

If it does not improve, will have to be referred to a colon specialist.

Sold keppel and bought Mapletree Industrial Trust

Eating my words abit. I am quite against reits but today I bought 45k MIT at 2.10.

This cam after selling my remaining 12k Keppel for 10.73. 

I wanted anstock that can give me decent dividends. I looked at comfortdelgro but it's core biz is challenged. Parkway reit is 4+ but dividend is only 10 cents. 

So in the end, settled for MIT because if the interest rate falls, REITs will benefit. But am afraid it will issue rights when I am cash strapped. Hope it does not.

Grateful for

I have done the following:

- a fully paid up flat

- ever had cars

- 养过狗狗

- ran 3 marathons

- can FIRE

- travelled to some countries

- 2 cruises

- ever had a career (promoted.twice)

- learnt to swim

- erhu, guzheng, guqin

some bucket list

- solo travel

Dreamt about LG

Had a weird dream. Was thinking about LG recently.

Dreamt we went to a temple then he din feel well. I called ambulance and was massaging his back. Then when the ambulance came, his LS came out. Then cut into next scene, there was a bearded guy whom I was sweeping the floor (dunno why, am I a roadsweeper?) with, told me he is gone. Funnily I did not cry in my dream. Maybe I accepted.

My bucket list

What is my bucket list?

- staycation at a five star hotel

- visit MBS casino

- High class pub?

- Atas restaurant (still can eat?)

- Dye hair blue? (still got hair?)

- Hong kong once more (still can fly?)

Bag peace

Have been buying bags the past 2025.

Bought carlo rino bag for birthday which I sold off shortly after I bought my braun buffel bag. Then when I went penang, i bought uniqlo green tote bag, and then ordered thru lazarda a men sling bag. When in genting, bought a men tote bag for work. Lastly bought a stripe tote bag. 6 bags

Will I have bag peace?

Am always looking for something to buy...

Went out with wj

Started the day ps5ing then I went out to meet wj at 1pm. I was so hungry that i ate auntie ann cheese nuggets before meeting her. It was quite nice.

Ate sphagethi and a blended capuncino at secret receipe. Then decided to go kampong glam which is at lavender. Walked to see 2 mosques. Ate a zam zam murtabak so very full.

Yesterday was really filling.