Xiaobai dream

Dreamt xiaobai was alive, she looks more like a Pomeranian than a jap Spitz. We were playing around then suddenly she seemed to become very weak and she died again. I cried when she died but then I suddenly recalled she was already dead sland woke up sitting up.

Told my sis and mum, they felt I must be feeling very guilty about not taking care of her well. I look at other people dog and they look so happy, but I look at xiaobai and lily, they looked bad. Why?!!! Initially I was very tempted to get another pet, but I feelni cannot even take care of myself, so I do not want to cause more suffering to any pets.

My health is not good, am having issue with my butthole. Haiz maybe I won't have much time left so just enjoy ba.