Monday, May 29, 2023

What you promised

I promised
1) not to remarry even after he passed on
2) keep praying to his deities until I cant

I realised I cry alot when at home. When outside, I try to control but not at home. It is going to be 10 mths after his passing.

We have our ups and downs, who doesnt. Bad and good memories. I blamed myself for behaving the way I did that morning. I regretted that, it is one of my life regrets. You had 13 years but I didnt cherish it.

Missing him, his jokes, him making nicknames for everyone. 

Finding strength to live and move on each day.

Saturday, May 13, 2023

FD

Finally I decided to put my excess funds in FD. Initially wanted to do it with UOB, but u can only do it during working hours. So I transferred my money to POSB, and did FD of 19,999. Anything more will only have 0.05% so not worth to put more. 

Still have some excess, will hold on to it

Drove

After 9 months of his passing, I finally drove the car to mandai crematorium. It was something I wish to be able to do so because, it is hard to get a cab from mandai. 

I paid my respects and cried quite abit. 

I have drove to
1) teban
2) west coast
3) clementi
4) bukit panjang
5) teck whye
6) mandai
7) vicom

Will try 
1) kebun baru
2) aljunied
3) tampines
4) east coast park
5) boon lay

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Dreamt of cpr

Dreamt a vivid dream. He was alive again. This time I was armed with cpr skills. But I failed still to resuscitate him when the attack came. Maybe he wanted to say that it is not my fault. He is destined to go.

I don't have to do anything