Buying things to distract myself

After he passed on, my life no longer have any meaning. I felt that there is no point to FIRE, something I always have as a goal since starting work 15 years ago.

Everyday, I was in zombie mode - nothing could interest me. I took up jogging to expend my energies so that I would feel tired and can fall asleep. Most days were spent in tears.

Recently for past 2 months,didnt go run as month of dec was mostly sick. Then went for surgery - can only walk.

Some of the things that I bought

- sofa to replace my old one (270)

- threw away a single seat sofa, his one standing cabinet, the king bed - so as to make way for my bed. My sis came to live with me. (200)

- bedframe and mattress (400)

- fridge - old one died suddenly (899)

- xiaomi vaccum and mop set (479)

- one lao hua yan specs for working only (300)

- signed up for guqin (1500 + 850 rent)

I have nothing to focus on but i hope with guqin, it will change. But a guqin will cost me 4k.