Signed up another 10km run on 8 june

After 1 week running 2xu, coll jioed me for second one. In the end, signed up for Skechers run. This time it will be a sundown run. Need to start running 6km this wed, Thurs and sun.

Onwards...

Aim for OCBC shares

I have been calculating my expenses. It could be around 2k if I try to control my impulse buying. I always have an itch to go buy some clothes when I feel very stressed. This is something I noticed a long time ago. After Jul, I won't have such a luxury anymore to buy things without batting an eyelid.

Recently, I will try to find ways to save some monies. E.g. in the past, whenever after a trip, I would spend 14 to wash and dry my bed sheets and blanket. After I came back from my Japan trip, I just used my washing machine to wash, 2 rounds. Then I innovate by drying my blanket over 2 chairs. Not too bad, saved 14 bucks.

Now I always try not to buy and see if I could use existing to substitute. E.g. my living room fan spoilt and I just used an existing fan to replace it. Had the impulse to go buy, but decided not to.

Another thing is my room Aircon started to have noises, so I decided to sleep in master room instead. So see whether the noise go away.

During Japan trip, wanted very much to go buy a branded bag, in stead just used existing monies to buy a Marc Jacob tote bag. Still luving it.

My goals for May is to see if I could buy some OCBC shares before the x date. This will narrow my gap of 350. My passive income can only bring me 1650 per month.

This is not exactly a die situation in that I could always take part time jobs to supplement my income but it is just a mental challenge I wish to impose on my self. Keep myself occupied while I count down my working days. End July, here I come.

Updated 27 April

I finally bought 1 lot of OCBC. Actually had wanted to buy when it was 12++ but I held it off, thinking it could drop. Cos there were signs that Fed could lower interest rates. But war broke out between Israel and Iran. Tensions are high. Oil price would likely stay hihh, leading to inflation.

So when I finally threw in and bought at 14.37, it dropped to 14.24. but regardless, as it dropped, will pick up more shares to lower my average costs. Will have 420 div coming May.

12 more weeks to bear... You can do it!!

Mum birthday dinner

Yenn suggsted to celebrate mum's birthday at millenia walk elemen. Food is vegan, we each ordered a 8 course dinner. Dinner was nice, has some courses that are refreshing. 

We went play gem pusher. Not much luck today, we tried other kind of machines but it is quite hard to catch and pour the things. We spent abit before gping back to our old machines. We caught 2 small stuff with 40, but geoky still want to play more to get the keychains. So after another 10 bucks, we din win any, and while yenn went to exchange, we got the 3 big keychains. Yay... mum sponsored last 10 bucks. 

Bought some cakes, then grabbed cab home. Must cherish those still alive.

Planning my semi- retirement days

Imagining what I will do:

- wake up at 8 or 9am

- have breakfast

- watch tv until 10am plus

- 11am walked to explore East coast areas, Bedok reservoir, Tampines, Katong, Aljunied

- 2-3pm go home, bathe and have light dinner. If not, go 95 bring mum out for evening walks

- 1hr reading at night

Above is on days when I have nothing like wed.

On days I go fighting (Mon, thurs, fri), go home 2-3pm bathe, light reading and tv. Or go 95 bring mum go walk. 

On days (tues, sun).I want to practise my music, go run in the mornings or after guqin.

Sat - full day with mum, geoky and yenn.

Marathon

Later I will be running my first ever marathon. I always wanted to run one n

I remembered I signed up 5km one when my sister was working in standardbchartered in 2012 but in the end I didn't cos I moved to teban on that day with my hubby.

I remembered training for it.

After he passed on, I never thought of it until I mentioned about it as one of my bucket list. My colleague Jenn encouraged me to join. But she only joined cos of me. She had some hip alignment issues so she might not be able to run. She intended to walk. Later see how, if she want to walk, then I could walk with her. But if she is running, then I will meet her back at finish line cos I know my snail pace. 

10.10am (21 april)

Writing this on my mrt ride home. I managed to jog 10km non-stop throughout. My first ever marathon medal.

Yes, completed 10km in 1hr 40mins. I did not let myself down. Fat still can jog. Yay.

Count my blessings

Had a tired day yesterday, didn't sleep well last night.

Woke up, bathed dogs, going to mop floor. Took a break first. Xiaobai urinated on the floor. What to do, she is 11 years old.

Count my blessings

I have a home, monies, mum and sisters healthy.

Able to move, eat, sleep, pee and poo.

Able to see, hear, breathe yes, breathe.

No pains

Lg and dad in heaven, no more suffering.

Towards semi-retirement!! I can feel it.

Resignation

Yesterday, I told my boss that I intended to leave early July. She wanted me to stay longer till sept, but I told her I might not be able to last till Sept mentally. Because the reason I could still move, is that I told myself this will end soon. This was what kept me going till now since my hubby's death. In the end, settled that I would tender end May and leave end July. Final.

Though I might regret quitting my nice paycheck, I would also quit the dread and anxiety that kept me awake. Would I be happy? I am not happy already so what makes me think doing the same thing would make me happy.

I believe i have enough to last my likely short life. It is finally time to unwind. I never could after I started working in 2006. 18 years....how long more would I have.

I am quitting so that i can move on to another phase - semi retirement and part time employment. So that i have time to spend with my family and still have something engaging for the mind.

Dont waver. LG definitely would support you if he knew about it. I also dreamt of my resignation - it is a sign from heavens.

Your life is in your hands

I had a dream during my japan trip, of my mum passing on. This is th 2nd time I had such a dream, since ys passing on. Though i remembered ys telling me dreaming of someone dying, means that person will live for long but....yesterday mum mentioned about her old cactus dying (having lived 29 years) and she replanted the offsprings. Then she said she ikey wont be around for another 29 years. I told her she will live to 100 just like what ys godmum did. Am tearing as I wrote this. 

Nobody will know when they will go, not even ys. Maybe i could go b4 her. But i realised i would have alot of regrets just like i did, when ys was sick. I didnt have a choice to quit because of the medical bills and heavy financial obligations (have a car). But now, it is different. I no longer have a car. Ys medical bills will be settled by jul. I am financially in a better position.

I will have lotsa of regrets if i dun spend enuff time with mum WHEN i can. Wont make this mistake a 2nd time. The guilt that came after ys death, is still there nearly 2 years liao.

Live your life with no regrets and trust my 6th sense. 

First day back to work

I put on 1kg-2kg during japan trip. Well, if i dont eat now, when do i eat then. Have to start back my red bean soup diet again.

My intention to tender, did not subside. Somemore i dreamt during my trip that I resigned - this is the sign that I am looking for. It is final. Will inform my boss next monday.

Meantime need to drink water and start taking health seriously. 

Grateful I have shelter, food and toilet (yes, toilet - to pee and poo when I want). Japan trip was a trip of peeing, walking, eating, gachapon-ing. Haha what a way to deascribe.

During the trip, it was very cold on cetain days and on those days, I saw a few homeless people. They have to endure the cold in the open. It was hard to do it, let alone they having to do it throughout. I cant even imagine.

I am lucky and i am grateful. Not everyone is. Life is such. Such is life. 

Dreamt about Ys during the trip - he told me he figured out a cure for heart disease. He was very happy in the dream. 

For the past few trips -  hongkong, ipoh and this japan trip, i looked out for the number 5383. To me, it is a sign he was there with me. I saw the number at the last day of my japan trip. I saw the number in ipoh and hongkong.

I need to remember to bring his photo with me wherever I go.

After my resignation, i intend to explore sg in foot. Starting with Bedok.

Japan day 7 to 16

Woke up, lazed around in hotel till 10am. Set off for nice macha dessert (saryo suisen) stall for a macha crepe. After that, took bus to Toji temple. Spent 90mins there.

Took bus to kyoto station, ate yakitori. Ate chix backside, skin, etc. Took another bus to Gion - ate sweet potato with cream brule at Imo pipi. 

Day 8

Woke up to eat macha dessert. Walked kiyomizudaro temple, ate toufu lunch. Fushimi inari - walked the traditional jap archs and we climbed half way. But it was quite late already so we did not climbed to the top. Wanted to eat imo- pipi but it closed.

Day 9

First thing, we went to buy the sou xin from 3 places. By the time we finished, was already noon. Had lunch at coco ichibana curry. Then we went bamboo forest. Walked to the river lined with sakura trees. Then took bus home and ate soba restaurant.

Day 10

Woke up, waited for yenn to get ready and it was rainy. We wanted to wash clothes but decided to go nikishi market. Went there and regretted cos it was very crowded. In the end, ate at kutsukura tonkatzu. It was nice. Came back hotel but no luck to wash clothes cos there were always people....had macdonald for dinner.  

Day 11

We ate breakfast, then checked out. Went to have dessert and have strawberry dessert. After that, took local train to osaka. Then we went to check in hotel and have late lunch at ippudo. Played gacha bought cofee at coti coffee. Walked then made our way to dontonburi - just walked and it was cold. We din wear our jacket. Dinner was bao and siew mai.

Day 12

Ate breakfast. Went to the aquarium, onr of the largest in japan. Ate an authentic jap rest, then we went ti kuromon market. Walked around and ten we settled on a okonoyaki one. Went home and nearby our hotel is a onegiri. We ate 2 each. 4 meals today. Reached home 5pm.

Day 13

Ate bf at hotel, then around 10.30am, sis brought me to an authentic unagi restuarant. Ate a 35k yen set, it was very filling. Then we walked around to explore the shinsaibashi underground mall crysta and we went above ground. We went to a very atas parco building for toilet breaks. Then wehn leaving, i saw marc jacobs and decided to buy the bag i wanted. It was a replacement bag of sort for my LV onthego tote. I didnt want to spend thousands on a bag so this bag was less than one tenth of LV, so why not considering i already sunk 2000 sgd to yen and i still have 970 worth. So after spending on the bag, left 600 or so.

Went shin sekai - ate a hurried dinner of pancake. Y ate sandwiches. Then we come back to our hotel and i persuaded Y to eat her onigiri - not much chance to eat cos not shunlu once back in tokyo.

Day 14

We checked out and made our way to shinkansen to board from Osaka to Tokyo. Reached firstly and took JR line to shibuya. There were so many people, unbelievable. We checked in and went out. Went tower records to buy final fantasy cds (y), ate dinner at goenmon - sphagetti. Nice and good. Then we went gacha and play claw game and arcade game. Bought the bags that geoky want to buy for simon daughters. After that, around 9pm, we bought a starbuck and walked back.

Day 15

Started slow. We dragged ourselves out to shibuya around 10.30am. Went to eat at goenmon again. Played claw again and got 1 cinnamon dog. Played drums arcade game together with sis. Then we were supposed to go meiji mingu but it started to rain, so we didnt go. Drank an ice kopi at pronto and made our way to tokyo inn at ootori. Hiccups along the way as we sat the wrong train. Arrived at hotel. Then we rested avit before we go for atas sushi dinner (first time in japan) after kura sushi. The sashimi was nice. Ate 81 bucks. Next we walked around and bought chocs at 7-11. We retreated back to hotel with fruits and i slept early around 9plus.

Day 16

Hotel provides a free breakfast - onigeris. It was warm and nice for a rainy weather. Very cold once again. Drank 2 coffees and time to pack luggage and wait for shits. 

Ate lunch at the kyoto maacha dessert stall in T3. Today will be back to SG.

Total damage

Air ticket 1k

Yen 2k

Dogs 2k

Accomodation 1.1k

Others 0.5

Total 6.6k

Marc jacob medium tote bag

After tabulating that i have 970 left, for 3 days more in japan. We chanced upon daimaru in Osaka and i went in, clad in slippers. 

Asked the jap sales lady for the one i wanted, cos the ones on display are the leather versions. I wanted the blue canvas one.

She found me 1 cos they are kept in drawers. Paid 34500 yen, and got 2650 yen back, so cos about 31900 which is 280plus in sgd. Original price 36300.

Well after I got this bag, i stopped thinking about the LV tote bag which would have cost me 5700 sgd. Yay i saved 5300, girl math.

Had been thinking of the LV onthego for a few months. Maybe it is the emptiness of my life that I am trying to fill. I know i wont be happy with the bag, it cant fill in the void. But after my marc jacob purchase, my desire to buy a bag went to zero. I could finally direct my attention back to my health, quitting my job.

My intention to quit, is still firm. I think I can safely say to myself - I have enough!!!

Having that half a million more, would be good if I dun have to grind and toil another 14 years but i think even so, i would only die not spending it. I would remain a slave to my work and can never fully unwind. 

So far, am able to unwind abit during this 16 day japan trip. Learnt that i only need food and clothing and shelter which I have already. Rest are really junk.

Dying with zero. Would be my next purpose. 

Going to give away my sweaters plus some of LG when back in sg.