Freedom day 2

Today started a morning at 6am plus. I got woken up by the buses and traffic noise. I am a light sleeper.

Decided to get up, and immediately started to arrange my desk, my guqin table and fans. After sweating out an hour, did my usual routine of preparing breakfast and toilet washing. Tried an oufen breakfast but the amount is not substantial. Took my new medicine for my cough.

After that, rest abit and started doing my baobao for LG. Did three quarters way before I felt tired. It could be my meds. I heated up my wraps and just ate 1 for lunch, and I just threw myself on my bed and ko-ed.

Woke up to my dogs barking. Can't be bothered to wake up then finally around 2pm, woke up and made coffee. Now in a clearer mind, continued watching my YouTube.

While looking through some YouTube on china job market,  felt very down. I actually should be grateful, my dividends can give me a 2k per month passive income. Count my blessings that 我说走就走. Life is about living.

Freedom day 1

Yesterday was a hard day. Manged to survive the depart without tears in office. Teared outside, and not in front of colleagues.

Bought snacks for IT, and own depts. Left them quietly at the pantry.

Cleared some emails and then for lunch, we dabao mee from Redhill stall at united square. Went L8 for ktv. Thought that when I go back, I could leave. Cos I didn't want any card or gifts. But my colleagues still bought me gifts. Haiz they still arranged for swensen buffet today evening. They gave me a Fitbit charge 6 and cosmetic. Have to use it.

Must have cost a lot.

Anyway I know why I am leaving. I can't turn back my decisions.

Cried abit at home. Well only my dogs know. Didnt have good sleep as I woke up 1am and tossed and turned till 4am. Slept for 3 hours - moved back to my study room to sleep with door open. I think the heat and stale air made it difficult to sleep in master bedroom.

Today only wanted to go see doc, call lawyer Tang and go eat buffet. 

Tears

I wanted to blog, but posted blog in old blog instead.

Went to read my old blogs, it detailed our starting. I argued with him constantly, over small things, turning against my family for him. I had flashes of memories because there were many meltdowns. 

No point looking back, cherish your happy memories - those msia trips we made. 

We went msia, Vietnam, china, Taiwan, Hong Kong, cruise :) no regrets. You only live life once. I am happy being able to bring him to these places. I have done what I could within my capabilities.

You only have now.

Friends

W is going for a one year masters study in Spain in Sep. We decided to meet for a meal, a bit of a celebratory one to celebrate my last work day and W new education journey.

I booked sun with moon at Wheelock, lunch was fully booked. Woah lucky I made a booking in advance via messenger.

We ate lunch - the variety was there. Vegetables, eel rice, it was a nice portion. Ate desserts too. Next we walked around a bit before walking to tcc at shaw. Have drinks and more food.

Haha as we age, we just want to sit down and drink or eat. None of us want to shop - our wants are so low. 

We talked so much. W has quit last jul, and she said the first thing is to slow down and just enjoy the moment. Told her about my plan to focus on exercise and running. She shared about her hiking experience.

We also talked about how we want to live if told we die soon, or within one year. We just want to spend time with love ones, and won't change anything else we are doing. Life is short. I don't know I have. She talked about her father anxiety about death. For me, I wish my death is swift. That is all I wish for. No prolonged suffering for the sake of suffering. I am very more concerned about the quality of life than just living.

If I am at my deathbed, I will miss drinking a warm cup of coffee, eating chocolates, chips, walking around and feeling free. Wind blowing on my face and hair. Going to toilet myself. These are things I have, but never have the mind space to admire and appreciate.

You only live life once.

Received my last pay

I received my last pay yesterday. This marked the end. The end of my journey with this company I worked 14 years 3 months for. 

As I mentioned earlier, while I have issues with the company, I am also grateful to this company. My colleagues, bosses, ex bosses, they believed in me.

This job allowed me to buy a house, owned cars, have two dogs and reached FI. I must not forget this. 

On the other hand, it gave me sleepless nites, anxiety, drained me of my life.

Regardless, this is a chapter of my life that would end on coming tues. Documenting my thoughts.

Yesterday had weird dreams about a male colleague. I hope I am not overthinking because I really feel nothing. 

I have promised my hubby before I will not remarry. I will fulfill this promise. I do not need a guy to come and change my life. My life is in my hands. I shall give myself the love, courage to move onwards to my second chapter. Barista FI.

老公在天之灵，会祝福和支持我的。我很相信这点。

4.5 more work day

One more exhausting day.

Wfh today, as still having cough. Cough is manageable if not talking.

Tmr to thurs will wio. Fri, next mon and tues is half day.

A few things to do, clear my cabinet tmr. Have a good lunch with my IT colleagues.

Cancelled term insurance

Was sick for past week - coughing like mad.

One more week or to be precise 6 more working days to my freedom day.

This week, I have cancelled my AIA cancer guard. The premium almost doubled to 72 from 40. Considering I have a 150 cancer cover which cost 90, I thought it was not worth to continue paying 72 for 80k coverage. My remaining AIA cancer cover term plan would only get more expensive as I age, so decided to cut down on my whopping 650 monthly insurance over.

I also cancelled my pruvantage term insurance that cost 90 a month for 500k term coverage. I still remember how I got this policy, it was because when I bought my Bukit Pangjang Blk 427 flat, a financial adviser called me saying he can share a plan that I would no longer need to worry about insurance later on. Pigued, I went to meet him. Then upon meeting him, he went one huhh circle drawing me diagrams and saying how this plan would help me. End up what he was suggesting, was buy a term insurance equal to 500k (my flat value) then next time I upgrade my house, I will continue to be covered.

I was rolling my eyes. Cos I had been an agent before, and had bought term insurance before, what he was saying is not really some new thing. Anyway I told no harm to buy more term since I thought if any 3 long 2 short happens to me, YS need monies. So I bought.

When I reviewed my own insurance recently, I realized my house is already covered by hps, not full but a long percentage. If I dies, my house is practically free, my sisters can sell them for a good amount. Plus my CPF monies, investments, and remaining term insurance of 200k, this is easily 1.5mil. They are well provided for.

My only worry is if I get cancer, and I won't have monies to pay for my medical expenses. But I already have 150k aia, 100 fwd and prushield premier, I should be able to pay. If I tio kidney failure, my prushield should be able to pay for that. So I die die have to keep my prushield extra that is a whopping 177 a month. Shot up from 126. I intend to cancel my AIG next. This will cut my insurance costs to 377 (excluding AIG).

Marc Jacob canvas

Initially I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, cos I could see some discoloration on my medium canvas tote bag. Hmm, I only just bought it in early April from Japan.

Was still thinking if I should buy their new denin series, now I have some reservations. Imagine the fading for buying a 500++ bag.....I think not worth it.

Went to do some googling, and it seems the fading is inevitable.

Anyway mine was a blue greyish tote, so still not so obvious, but if it continues to fade, I think I might have to go some color dye to spruce it up. Wish me luck.

Counting down, 6 more working days.... My last day at my job.

Don't spend unnecessary monies lol but I still went to ask G to buy 2 new nanci figurines from taobao. Something I kinda hooked on. Haha maybe I need to let go abit. Life is short. Don't spend big monies on luxury bags, u r going to have a new dumpling bag soon.

Will be going to jb on 2 Aug to have some fun. 

LG, I am sorry for treating you so badly in your last few months. I know it is a bit too late, u r no longer around. If I ever dreamt of u, I would apologise. I will redeem myself, by dabbling into healthcare after my six months break. I couldn't control my emotions, there were too much on my shoulders and everything fell on me. When u started to recover, I was feeling so hopeful u will survive, then in a flash, u are gone. My anxieties were so bad, ruminating over work, your health, the dogs and myself.... But there is no excuse. I hope I can move on and do something meaningful.

8 more working day to freedom

Not counting today, i have 8 more working days to freedom. 

I am very excited to countdown. 

I remembered I had never been so excited when I quit my prudential, call centre and sme publisher job. This is the first time I look forward to it.

Why this change? My prudential days were a struggle, not making enough to feed myself, resigned in shame.

My call center days - everyday was tiring and i failed to hit the call quota every single day. Resigned in shame.

Sms publisher - bored to tears everyday. Once again i under performed - writing the least no. of articles. 

Current job - i underperformed for the first year. After that, picked myself up from c minus to c. Even getting plus. Got promoted 2 times in the course of my 15 years. Reached the peak and have chosen to leave. Grateful for the opportunities given to me, for the colleagues and bosses who have been kind to me. This chapter is coming to an end. I will not regret this.

What has happened, had happened. Nothing can ever change this fact. I will try to learn new things so that i can tell him all my stories that one d day. Learn from life, cherish what you have, people you love. Life can be gone the next second or minute. 

Think what you will regret on your deathbed? The freedom to breathe fresh cool air, see the skies, walk the paths, just living.

You dont have to do anything. You are enough, have enough.

Completed reading another book

I just completed an ebook The Year of Less. 

Ever since I seriously thought of quitting, I wanted to pick up reading. I saw somewhere reading can help with anxiety.

This is my 2nd non fiction book, there was one that I completed earlier. Rest wereainly half finished attempts.

This book reasonate me as I could feel some commonalities - being fat, dressing poorly, shopping addiction, loss (author 's being her parents divorce while mine my hubby's passing). She coped by turning on her tv every waking moment - and here I was, thinking I was the only one doing it.

I turned on my tv the moment I wake up, or come back home. I cannot tolerate no noise. for the past two years, I slept with my HP on meaning I would watch YouTube until I fell asleep. Until now, I still do this. It helps me get back to sleep. Have trouble sleeping after his death.

There were times I coaxed myself to sleep saying I will meet him in my dreams. I did.

I also listen to Buddhist chants when I feel very bad. The music coaxed or sooths me. Feel calmer everytime.

I would have to go on a shopping ban and tv ban someday. Till now, I guess my goal is to figure out whether my 1.8k budget works or not.

Time to sleep. 10 more working days and I am on my 6 month career break.

Temple run

Today S came and fetch the three of us to the temple - bishan mazu, hua guang, and joo chiat guanyin temple.

Mum wants to repay after her cataract surgeries had went smoothly. Ate lunch at Bedok heartbeat bugies.

G wants to treat, so i had rosti. Nice lunch. Total bill 103 for 5 pax.

Then went sheng siong, i stayed outside drinking my iced kopi c kosong. Then S eldest daughter wanted to come to my house to pee. 

My dogs barked as usual, and she was too afraid to come in. I had to wrestle and hug both dogs so that she can go use the toilet, very hilarious scene. Haha she went and told the rest that i fell down. I think it is quite an amusing scene. Anyway i didnt hurt myself, she managed to go wee wee. 

After tt, reached home at 2pm and has been binge watching youtube. Nothing better to do. Still coughing so didnt want to exert myself.

Steamed my siew mai and mum food for an early dinner. A simple meal.

Initially had thought of doing the envelope way so that i could track the amount I spend in a month, but immediately i realised only food expenses would be in cash. All othwrs are paid through my cards. Well there goes.

Bought a 窝窝头 to eat. Something i am interested to find out the taste.

To build wealth, just invest and dont spend on luxurious stuff. But one must be balanced, to spend a bit to enjoy the money since you cant bring a cent with you when your time is up.

Prushield extra premium

I got a rude shock when I saw my pru extra is going to cost me 171. It was 126 the past 1 year and i feeling the heat.

Will try to review my insurance coverage in 2026 after i fully settled y hdb loan. Maybe i will cancel off my 500k term, and my AIA cancer plans, leaving me with 1 200k term, 1 prushield and pru extra, 1 fwd cancer coverage.

In the end, I decided to just go ahead to terminate my pruvantage, and my AIA cancer guard which cor me 90 and 72 a month. I intend to cancel my AIG insurance which cost 55 a month (doubled in premium over the years).

DBZ cards

Today just suddenly had a thought to monetize my DBZ prism cards. I was thinking i am going to throw them away anway, why not milk whatever i could from it.

So i just took some lousy pics and post on carousell putting sky high pieces. Thinking there wont be buyers. Within less than 1hr, i got 3 enquiries. Not bad.

Then got 1 serious buyer want to see all that the cards I had.

In the end, we met 10pm below my block and talked 45mins. He took 4 original ones which i sold for 70, and he took 30 over dupe golden cards which he liked. All in all, just asked for 80, and he readily agreed. Haha 有点半送半卖。

I guess i am not into DBZ so am not attached to it. He also took a metal sailor pluto card - haha just because it is unique. 

Anyway to me, all will be trash one day so might as well give to someone who appreciates them.

Semi-retired on >500k in sg

I decided to quit my job and I did. My last day is on 30 July. Have been in this job for 14 years, 3 months.

Life is short. I wish to take a break to figure what I want to do in my remaining time on earth. 

I have >500k invested in stocks, and will be living off my dividends during this break.

I still have a housing loan of 260k that is currently serviced by my cpf oa. If my singtel and cdl stocks (bought with cpf oa moniee) could make a profit of 40k, i could pay off this loan amount in 2026. So this does not worry me even if i remain unemployed for a long time.

During my break, I will need to keep my expenses to 1800. Will track to see if this is doable. Intend to rest 6 months, go do things that brings me joy and spend time with my family and friends. 

After the break, i will go find a part time job to work at most 3 days a week. This is to keep my mind active.

Side hustle?

I was watching some YouTube videos on finance this morning as usual which talks about side hustles etc.

I always find it admirable that there are people out there who can still find the energies to work on their hustles after work. For me, my job drains me of life everyday, such that I cant even sleep at night. All my thoughts were on work. It has been so for 15 years.

One thing I had consistently done, is investing. Started on my own in 2007/8. Investing then was challenging, I saw my counters all in the red. But I never stopped despite of my fears.

Most of my stocks recovered to new heights, except for some which I sold at a loss.

After my resignation, my investment will feed me. Luckily the dividends are enough for me to cover my expenses. On hindsight, I could have viewed investing as my side hustle. I feel high when buying stocks. If there are any extras, I would continue to put them into stocks.

Sick

Could not sleep last night due to my coughing. Today and tmr on mc. 

Whole day watching YouTube, falling asleep and more YouTube.

Dunno what to do, feel like not doing things.

Am worried I will be bored to tears after 30 July. Wish me luck.

Need to find something's to do, which I have, just no energy to.

Surviving another day

Survived my monday blues. Had very bad anxieties about work issues since fri. Haiz had trouble sleep for past few days.

Then today, 平静地度过。Can I have more of such days for my remaining days, to mark the end of my career.

You will see whether you matter or not. Nobody cares if you die this instant. Dont be fooled by people's lies. 永远要记住，情很薄的。

Financial anxiety

As the day draws closer, my anxiety increased. Haha

I guess this is how I console myself.

Firstly, my 560k will generate around 22 or 23k annually. Meaning if I spend 2k a month, I only have a deficit 1 or 2k annually.

My pot can last me 56 years....I wont live so long.

Plus I can always rent out 1 room to supplement my income. And I definitely will do some part time job. My money will last me indefinitely.

Do what

I am running out of things to do - i cant find youtube videos to watch, i cant enjoy my hk dramas. This is something my hubby and I previously enjoyed, maybe it reminds me of him.

I do not want to spend money cos if i go shopping, i would buy clothings only to give it away.

Today practised some erhu and guqin before i went out at 1.30pm. Reached lavendar 2pm plus. Lim teh o until now still drinking.

Is there something i can do that is free - coloring, drawing. 没心情.

Why I am not in the mood? Am i depressed? Or anxious?

Bedok reservoir scooting

Today went to scoot with G. She hurt her small toe before we reached Bedok reservoir. Anyway we still braved on, and we reached safra. After some difficulty, managed to find Burger king.

Ate a simple meal (my dinner) there. Then we U-turn home because there is no smooth path for us to ride on. Maybe next time I try and venture on my own.

This time round, had a hat, sunscreen and water. There is a stretch of road where the speed was quite fast. Came back home and rest abit before going for guzheng lesson.

Now chillaxing in front of tv. Y bought some pop art and she got the mystery box.

Life is short, need to yolo abit and strive to die with zero.

Tracking my July expenses

Suddenly decided to track my expenses to see the actual amount that I spend on a normal work month. Abit tedious but just wanted to do this so that I can see whether my FI expenses of 1800 is achievable or not.

Today my ex-HOD messenged me, wishing me all the best. I didn't expect this. Have not started drafting my farewell email :)

Counting down 18 more work days.

Life is short, no point working only to be drained of life everyday.

insomnia again

I slept at 9.30pm last night and woke up 2am. Cannot go back to sleep.

Luckily I had taken 3hr timeoff today. 

Now shaking leg in my arm chair writing this blog.

I had not have good sleep since his passing. Hopefully after I quit, I could sleep and heal again. Will reduce my coffee intake from tonight onwards.

3 more weeks....to my freedom. I will be free.

Don't worry and embrace your unemployment - 2nd time where I quit without a job lined up. Life is short.

Feeling emotional today

As I count down to my last day at my company, I felt very emotional. Tearing up, I am not sure why I am crying. Is it because I will miss my colleagues. I know they don't miss me.

Is it because I will miss my pay? I have enough already.

Is it because of my ego, I lose my identity because work is a big part of my life all my life, and I will be a nobody? 我看的很开，没有人是很重要的。In life, everyone is focused on themselves, nobody cares. Ask yourself, do you care about your colleagues - I don't give a damn.

Then why am I sad? 放下才能够得到平静，安乐，真正的快乐。

You are just scared. Be brave and soldier on.