Bonus

Going to get my bonus this week. I feel nothing. Maybe because I have had good bonuses all these years except my 1st year.

It is a good 3 months pay. I felt.happy for a split second, then my happiness came back to nothing. 

He is gone now, so what if I had money. My SCM shares were worth close to 50k, it is like a windfall. I was looking towards it but when i finally have it, I felt empty.

Nothing makes me feel fulfilled...work only make time pass faster. For past 1 week, I had been crying as flashes of his last moments came back. They haunt me and I am full of regrets. Nothing can turn back time. I can only look forward 1 day at a time. 

Maybe I will donk another 1 year before I leave.