Why? Partly due to my grief and also the stresses from my job.
I can not focus on my work - when working, I feel like running away and sleeping some where. However when at night, I find myself sleepless. I guessed it was my coffee that I am taking as though it is water. My job kept me up at night, worrying days and night.
I lost him in Aug 2022, to a heart attack. I took a week off to settle his funeral, and car. I had to take refresher course. I buried myself in work, trying to forget him. This went on for many many months. I couldn't quit because I had a car loan, his medical bill to pay. After I sold the car (one year later Aug 2023) I felt a heavy burden lift off my shoulder. I was left with 1 more year to pay 1240 per month. This will end Jul 2024.
After that, my expenses would be 2k a month which my passive income would foot 1650 of it. I can finally rest and quit to do barista fire.
Do I really need to go? I asked myself, but the answer is always a resounding yes. I have enough to last me and doggies. There could be a time when I might need to euthanize my doggies (both are 11 and 12) and incur a heavy bill. But I still have enough.
My worry is my hdb loan, 264k. I plan to pay off using cpf in 2027.
I am having a good paying job 9.5k a month factoring in bonuses. But my heart is dead. No matter how much more money I have， I don't feel happy. I thought I would if I reached FIRE. But realized without him, I feel very empty.
I intend to take a 6 months break, do part time job there after till I die. We shall meet again 😀😉
No comments:
Post a Comment