Today is a tired day

Woke up from a night of dreams. Felt very tired. Today is one of those days where I can't focus.

Luckily work is not so hectic today. I can chill abit.

Tonight have erhu. Practiced some erhu just now. Then fell asleep for like 10mins.

Counting down 30 more days.

Scoot

Today first time playing with one foot scooter. Quite nice to play, feeling the wind in face.

Played scooter at the playground, but was forced to giv it to 3 person playing ball. Ended up playing at 95 void deck. Think i will take it home after i quit.

Skechers run

Shortly after running 2xu, I jio my colleague to run Skechers 10km run. I didn't exactly trained for it, only managed to run a 4 and 6km run before yesterday.

I managed to jog 8km, brisk walk last 2km. Dashed last 100m.

Not sure of the timing. Could be it was after my period, so dun have that much energy. Anyway it was fun. Luv the runner high.

Three other colleagues joined the 4km walk.

Had dinner at putien, liked the lor mee. And chili was the best.

I will likely go run the prison run.

Work had been shitty

Work has been shitty the past one week. Had been fire fighting and my colleague going on leave for two weeks. Leaving me and a newby to fend for ourselves.

I am reminded of why I am leaving. Had enough of this bullshit job for past 14 years, especially last three. So relieved that I know my agony would end in 39 working days. Counting down everyday.

I just take one day at a time, sat going for a run. Monday will be more shit.

I will survive!! This is not the end of anyone world. Nobody died ...

All these shall pass.

Anyway was stressed, so bought a bag for 21 bucks. Haha 

Dont ever buy luxury

I was really tempted to buy another bag. I have so many bags already but I am still tempted. Erggg...

Then i realised all my uniqloo jeggings started to have some frills. But it is only a small patch, I think i bought them in Mar 2022. Had wore them for 2 years. Luv them so why would i throw them away just because of some imperfections.

Had been watching youtubes on luxury - i dont quite get why they buy so much luxury items. There is only so much you can use. The pot calling the kettle black - me myself is thinking of buying bags always.

I should strive to use things until their end of life - i just threw my meta coffee cup away. Initially wanted to buy a new one then i realised i have so many extra cups so just use 1. This should be one of my goals after I quit.

Tendered

With mixed feelings, I submitted my 2 months' notice. My last day will be 30 July.

I want to go off happy, no tears, no regrets.

I know what will likely happen - i will grow away from my colleagues. Nothing to talk about.

I only intend to continue my contact with my exercise buddy J. I knew 人情很淡薄. They talked to you because they have to. 

This has been the case always. 

It takes effort to maintain relationships and i am ok. Because i dont feel any fulfillment and i mean at the end of the day, i have to move on alone. They gave me joy but only short moments, when the job gives me stress 24 7. What is the point....

Went to a wake

Today I went to F's father wake at jurong west in the morning. Initially contemplated to take the mrt at 9am, but as we all know, in the end, I dilly-dally abit and so decided to grab there instead.

It had been 2 years since I saw F. She is my JC friend - only one that I kept in touch. After my hubby's death, I met her for lunch.

She looked ok, accepting her father's death. Such a strong woman - I wish i could do that with hubby. I need to move on bravely alone. Jiayou, you only got yourself.

She has a child, and we did some catching up - me sharing my resignation, where i lived etc. But as her child was ranning around and we chatted 1.5hr, I decided to leave so she could tend to her kid.

I could still remember how that fateful day began. Haiz if I have known, I would drop everything and go travel to China but the world then had not opened up. This is one of the regrets that I would have. See how it goes - can see if can join tour group when going to china.

Life is short - one day you are here, next instant, you can be gone. Cherish those in front of you. Leave no regrets.

If I were to die today, I have no regrets - in the sense that there is nothing I MUST do in this life. I can go in peace knowing G, Y can take care of mum very well. My only worry would be xiaobai and lily.