Thinking of what happens after 6 months

As the days go by, the day to return to my old workplace draw closer.

I feel nothing as nothing much has changed but I believe I will appreciate my old workplace more. The colleagues, the lunch kakis, the Aircon, the freedom to go toilet when I need to, having a desk (I cannot believe I am saying this), a locker, a pantry, 

These are what I have not experienced whether in my usher job, airport or security job. I can't form deep bonds with anyone. Been so for 1 year plus.

I realized I have forgotten how to book a room or even arrange a virtual meeting.

Anyway have to learn from scratch. Jiayou le even if the world falls apart, u can pick yourself up. Absorb like a sponge.

I realized that I cannot blend or mix with younger folks, dunno whether it is a generation gap or not. Don't have much to talk about. My interest are games and personal finance. 

There were times I imagine I was employed in another office setting, then I believe I won't be able to talk with my colleagues who are likely fresh graduates.

Just a lot of thoughts today, that I am literally feeling very left behind. 

But I console myself, even IF I could mix with them, the relationship is superficial. Need not think too much. They won't miss you when you are gone. Zero...

不需要执着，也不需要被想念。这才是真正的自由。

Which sequence of stocks will I liquidate

As the SG stock market rises, I will consider to liquidate my stocks in the following sequence:

- Singtel if it reaches 4.50

- CDL if it reaches 8.00

- Keppel if it reaches 10.00

- Uol if it reaches 10.00

- HLF if it reaches 2.80

Some jobs I wish to try out in future

Florist - go pick up lessons

Pet shop assistant

Retail assistant

Groceries assistant

F&B

Hdb floor leak?

Today I woke up 5am plus so that i can prep the dogs - which mean feeding them and letting them pee and poo. I have to go outside then xiaobai will go and do that. So i did all this before 8am then put them in my room while I wait for the hdb officer to come. 

He was delayed, he came 10.45am (1h45min late) anyway he settled everything by 12.20pm. 

Then i cleaned my room and fell asleep watching yt. Woke up still feeling v tired so i exercised 1hr on the elliptical. Made my maggie mee plus rice plus fang shu ye mixture...

Then decided to write down some thoughts. I think I am developing a phobia for my airport work, I cant bring myself to go do the jobs even though I have all the time. 

I am definitely avoiding but i still need to clear 26hours more. I have to start small, haiz i think i am frightened by all the red taming and unpleasant customer experience but I must not let fear dictate my life. I forgot that 99.9 of the customers are good. 

Slowly but surely, I will pick up the momentum.

Sold all seatrium

Sold all my seatrium shares and waiting to buy Ocbc when it dipped to 12 bucks.

Getting lazy

Is it burnout or pure laziness?

I have not worked a day since 30 jul, last was ASM.

Been staying home or going out when bored to stakeout popmart.

Keep delaying bathing dogs or sweeping and mopping floors. Not a good sign.

Can't sleep at night. I believe is all the inactivity. Tonight should go running. 

Tmr go gym with Jenn.

I feel very scared of even working at airport. I dunno, this has been worsening and I get very worried before every job. I still need 26 hours but I can't bring myself to work. Haiz....hasnt worked one day in August. Not a good sign. 

I believe I am running away from my problems - packed the determination to see it through. I should try to see if I can work on wed and Thurs...

Dream

Documenting my dream down in case it means something in future.

I have not dreamt of LG for quite some time. To me, maybe it was a sign he had reached nivarna or another world and he could put down everything here.

Anyway last night had a vivid dream, that he was alive and it was like 3 months before he passed on. Somehow time had reversed and I was given the luxury to spend my last three months with him. I remembered telling or asking him if I could take some long leave or something so I could spend more time with him. He questioned why.

Then I used my fingers to signal that he would die of a heart attack on 9 May. Erm actually he died on 22 Aug (15 of 7th month). I don't know why I said 9 May.

He was unfazed. Then next scene, I saw a moustache guy (those guzhuang look) was in a room using an umbrella or something (without touching the thing) to play a zither (look like guzheng). I think it is him but LG don't play guzheng. Then we were in another room with a toy or lousy zither with somebody else but he and that someone was clad in 古装, talking about the zither. 

I woke up then.

I don't know what this dream means.

What to buy next?

 Have been liquidating my stocks, starting from my US stocks. Left only Nike shares. Then I moved on to liquidate my SG stocks - seatrium, sheng siong and now aiming more seatrium if it hits 2.50. 

With the excess cash, I would hold and hopefully could buy OCBC shares if it drops to 12 bucks. With the growing global uncertainties, and possible recession in 2H25 or 1H26, the bank share price should drop in tandem with the economic conditions. For now, inaction is key to further success. 

Next year March would see me settling my home loan, then I will be debt free. I can have more peace of mind. My OA would be emptied.

One step at a time, going back to my previous job for a short stint of 6 months. Apprehensive but I believe I could tahan no matter what. 

I would need to clear 170hours of my airport jobs soon. Stopped my usher already.