Fears about my job

In my previous stat board job, I was very anxious everyday. Anxious about having to speak up in meetings or presentations - fear of judgement. 

This was something I was never able to overcome despite 14 years being there.

I also do not want to interact with customers, something I hate.

Then when I took on the airport job, my anxiety came from being reprimanded from customers or own team. It was so bad I got IBS one day. I realised something is wrong.

Now with Xiaobai gone, I decided not to take up more event jobs also, it is also giving me anxiety but not as bad.

I wish to be fearless but i guess it is my innate nature to avoid conflict.

For now, I will just focus on my temp job. Try not to overthink and go with the flow.