不知不觉

Time passed quickly. In past 2 weeks, I had undergone 2 days usher training and 3 working days.

Stirred up some shit amidst. Nonetheless nobody died. I dun have to lose sleep over it.

Also, this usher part time job might end in early Feb. So need to look out for jobs soon.

Through this, I made friends with 3 others. Well having someone to talk to, is good. 

Yesterday after working for 2 days straight, my heel problem exploded. Luckily I went to watson and met a 贵人 。 she recommended me the compression socks by Ebene. I wore it after bathing and went to sleep with it. This morning, my leg pain had gone away. Yay.....that was great. Half my pay had gone to pay for the socks but my foot problem had been around for quite some time. It is a long term investment. Tonight shall wear to sleep after bathing.

Was very restless today. I came out to Bedok area to jalan. But boy, it was hot. I ate lunch at hawker, and had dinner at coffeeshop. Damage 14 bucks.

Tmr my guqin resumes. Maybe I will not continue with it after this package is up. Losing steam in everything.

Jiayou, you can pull through. There was a brown moth in my room, i presume is him. He is always with me.

Next week, will work 2 days usher and my first SO job. Jiayou.

Usher job day 1

I met my colleague from the same agency at 8am, and hit my first issue. My access. Anyway it was very frustrating and in the end have to ask a supervisor to send in email. Not sure if next Thurs and Fri will have problem.

Then, I hit another problem, my walkie talkie was dead in 2 hours. Had to go back and changed, but I have no access to anywhere and I knocked on the office door for 5 to 10mins. Someone came in and I followed.

Then I lost my water bottle.

After lunch, it was better.

Hope I can persist.

Need to go mbs to walk to familiarize myself.

Security modules

When J first jioed me to join security, I never gave it a hard thought. But after I quit, I found it to be close to what I want to do.

3 day weeks

Can stand (I do not like sitting bcos I tend to get sleepy)

So I embarked on my journey to get my security licence. Today I passed my final module test. I got to know some nice ladies who intro me to security job lobangs.

I signed up for my first SO job on 5th Jan. Will try it out tonsee if it suits me.

Tmr will be my first day at ASM. Hope things goes smoothly.

I hope each day is different and I get to have more experiences. One day I can share my stories with LG in heaven. He will be proud of me....

Usher training

This week will be a busy week. 

Mon and Tues are usher training days.

Thurs and Fri are my crowd control days.

Chiong ar.

Will sleep early tonight.

Wed will be my only free day.

Job hunting

Before I quit my cushy job, I knew the shit I would be in. There is a very high chance I will not be able to find a job.

I could adapt and lower my expectations.

So after being idle for close to 5 months, I decided to start looking for part time job. Why so insistent on part time job - because I still want to be able to spend time with my family, and go for gym with my pal.

So this is what I set out to do - if can, work 3 days a week. Max is 4 so that I could go for gym and then after that, go 95.

Technically I can spend time with family on sat and alternate sun.

I applied for at least 5 job, but so far only an usher role one got back to me. I am not hard up for money, I want to try my hands on different jobs.

Security

Usher

Hamper packing

Retail (like close to simei)

I could go gym on every monday, tues. Go visit mum after that. Work wed to fri. Sat is guzheng, sun for free tuition and alternate guqin.

Wish me luck.

Seatrium

Today I finally decided to sell down my seatrium shares.

I have 19k shares. These are free shares from me holding keppel.

Sold 4k shares at 2.02 today.

Next point to sell 2.50, 3.00, 3.50 to sell remaining 15k shares.

大扫除time

I have decided to start my big sweep pre cny. Cny is 29 Jan.

I listed out all the stuff I will clean, which In will tick off.

This is an annual affair which I would undertake.

I always want to go for minimalism, but if the house is too empty, it felt sad. I still think of him everyday but I console myself he is in 天界.

No more pain for him.

So I would take this and next week to slowly clean the house. I might start my usher work soon, so since I am so restless at home, thought it would be great to work some energy doing the chores.

Stuff

The happiness from buying stuff is very short lived. Mere seconds or minutes... It felt as though the moment the item is in your possession, the excitment dies off. This vicious cycle continues.

Ever since my break, end July, I have bought mostly toys (tikam, blind boxes etc) 2 carlo RINO bags, some clothes, 1 Skechers black shoe to prepare for security job.

I just have 1 carlo rino blue bag away because the leather was peeling very badly after 3 weeks of usage. Going back to the first bag to use it.

There is a lot of wastage in this world, I shouldn't add on to it. Should not add on to it.

Cny is next month. 还可以用的东西，就要keep.

I won't be buying clothes - bought 2 shorts and a few tops, so I could wear them at 2025.

I already have a lot of clothes, bags. Not sure how to do a no buy because am tempted with blind boxes. But as my display boxes fill up, I am also now very selective.

I should go for experiences - go walk along kallang river in the morning. Go walk more maybe I should do this tmr.

Grateful

I have stayed home today. Was quite bored so went about doing my routine - youtube, ps5 etc.

Today ate 2 meals - brunch was 2 pizza slices. Dinner was my remaining teoboki, ramen, rice mixture.

Tmr will continue to eat my rice with the vegetarian fried stuff.

Cos am waiting for the usher job interview, so i did not browse any job listings today.

Exercise 50mins. Changed my cupboard plastic cover. Threw a plastic cover sheet away - i still remembered that I bought that roll for 10 bucks prior to hip. LG, i could still remember some of the scenes of hip. We slept in 1 room, u on my bed and i on floor. It was a very dusty period and i recalled waking up early to prep coffee for both of us. We ate bf on the long bench. The rest of the furniture was covered. 

I remembered buying alot of ah nei rice and soft drinks for the workers, on your instruction.

I recalled us taking turns to bathe below at the temp toilets. We had 1 temp toilet to pee at night.

I felt amazed we survived the 10 days. Lg, thanks for the 13 years memories. I will always cherish them.Though I cant recall each and every moments. There were times I could remember. When I recall, i should try writing them down.

Had a funny dream about Lg. He was wearing an oversized underwear, and he stuck his d backwards...haha maybe he was trying to cheer me up. 

I rem him saying he is alive again because of me. Cos i asked him how come he is alive. In my dream, i was trying to hide him from my friends and colleagues.

He is free now. No matter what. You must accumulate more exp so u can tell him about ur adventures.

Relieved

Yesterday I got a call enroute to city hall mrt. CGH called to inform my test results were not cancer. I was so relieved.... I thought the results would be out in two weeks. So these past few days, I were considering going to Macau casinos for one round.

Woah, Macau is very expensive. One hotel room is easily 150sgd. Was researching abit and almost gabe up on Macau. Thought to myself, I should just go mbs once in my life and pay the 150 levy. Damage would be lower.

I went to City Hall to meet J for a Jacky Cheung music event. Had dinner at Aston. Went to see abit of the cosplayers. Then had a small cuppa of coffee at a tiny cafe besides the art house.

Before that, I bought 2 skullpanda blind boxes and though I didn't get what I wanted, ingot two not bad looking ones. Grateful.

感恩大神们的保佑，还有老公的保佑。我继续积德福的。

Cgh procedure

Today went for the biopsy for my breasts at CGH. Results would be out in 2 weeks.

Prepare for the worst.

Don't be a burden to anyone.

Remember what you need to do if it is cancer.

Beat Black myth wukong

As proof, i append the menu page of the game with Enter a New Cycle.

Woohoo this was something I thought i couldnt do. Well if not for the many youtube strategies and gamers playing thru the whole game, i doubt i could complete.

One thing off my bucket list.

I beat all bosses.

I asked my sister to buy this game, along with tale of arise, star ocean around mid or end Sept. Cos the middle east was in chaos, and if ww3 is around the corner, why not since I was very interested in the game. I actually saw 2 gamers play the whole game.

Initially I thought I would not be able to beat the wondering wright or datou. But I did, after dying 20times at least. I also died countless time on the first boss guangzhi.

After that, I did not have major issue until the nobleman boss. I was stuck for more than 3 days. Think have died at least 40x. Then after that, still died some times at bosses, but didnt get stuck.

The next boss I had problem with, is tiger vanguard. So I went to kill stone vanguard and other bosses and get pluck of many. I can't rem how I killed it but I did. I was using smash stance until Fuban when I changed to trust stance. Yellow sage was hard too but I got thru with wind tamer.

Subsequent bosses were ok cos I could find how others beat them and copied their strategies. The only ones I can't, was Yin tiger and yellow long. Had trouble with cyan and black loong. I had to use my own tweak strategy.

Erlang shen and the stone monkeys and great sage broken shell, I also copied the strategies which worked. 

The great sage broken shell phase 2 - I did it my own way :)

Phew I didn't waste the 81 bucks paid to buy this game. But felt satisfied. Won't be touching PS5 for a few days. Had been obsessed, thinking about the game day and night. It kept me very occupied for 2 months.

Clap clap

Cgh postponed

The cgh procedure was postponed because I was quite sick with flu. Am better but still have alot of phelgm.

If I have cancer, i will decide to liquidate my shares and park some monies with my sisters. Then I go and make donations to some worthy cause.

I wont pay off my loan since if I passed in, my hdp can cover my outstanding loan, leaving my cpf monies for my sisters.

Other than the above, dont think i would change anything. What are my options and claims etc. 

A thought struck me, i would like to go macau casino for once. And hong kong cheung island - i am not sure why but maybe because it is accessible by train.

Life is short, live it. There is nothing major i need to achieve anymore because 我看破了. Doesnt really matter, what matters is you enjoy it.

够用就好。

You only can sleep in 1 bed, eat with one stomach. You have food, shelter, water and access to medical. There are people in this world who are sick, and have nothing. Cherish what you have.

CGH

Went to do another round of mammogram plus plenty of rounds of ultrasound on my breasts at CGH today. Found lumps that don't look normal or cancerous. Going to do biopsy next Monday. Well, such is life. If I tio caner, I decided to quickly encash my stocks and pass the monies to my sister's, leaving some for my remaining life.

Some of it would go to charity while I am still alive. My cpf would go to my sisters, same for hdb. 

Die with zero.

I can 心安理得 走。

4d3n with sis and her friend

I just came back from a 4D3N trip to Ipoh with Y and her friend.

I planned this trip with her friend giving some inputs. New to me, were going to the premium outlet (where I bought my carlo rino blue bag), drank coach coffee and bought puma tops. 

We walked to hotel excelsior there to massage our foot. Woah, it was painful. Now still hurts to touch certain parts of my feet.

Did more shopping at Ipoh parade.

Ate the famous curry mee, not to my taste. I think my taste buds are all the low class kinds. 

Hotel was bad but picked it for the location. 

Security officer

Yesterday, I passed my third basic course needed to be a SO.

Will apply for my pass 14 days later. Maybe I try next wed.

Two more modules to go, before I can join J in our journey.

Even though at the back of my mind, the potential bad news hangs over, I can't do anything about it. If it really is cancer, I can at least try a few jobs and experience. Regardless, my fate is in heaven's hand. I could only control those I can.

Adios.

If it is cancer, what will I do?

If it is cancer, what would I choose to do?

Today happened to chance upon a podcast talking about cancer treatment. Ketogenic diet - helps to starve off the cancer cells.

Something i learnt, but how to put it to practice?

Bad news?

I went for a mamogram 2 weeks ago, and the results were not ideal. Need go for further investigations.

If it turns out to be cancer, I should not despair as I have already lived for 15 more years already. 

Black myth wukong

I started playing at 9.30am till 12 then another hour.

It was difficult, I died countless time. Dying felt like second nature to me, lol.

It was fun. Maybe I should take it easy and dun get too poisoned by it. Intend to spend like 100 hours on it, make the money worth 

Musical

One of my bucket wishlist is to attend a musical. Da-da Phantom of the Opera will be in Singapore May 2025. As I am a UOB card holder and also klook, I used klook to buy a 29 May musical at A reserve region.

Tickets have 20% discount, and me with G bought our tickets at 138.

Yay, something to look forward to next year.

With this, I had done 2 - running marathons and musical.

Some other bucket list - solo trips. Earn my keep as a Part time florist, part time packer, part time security guard.

Uploading products from my florist course

Florist course

Finished bouquet, it was quite hard...ths trainer helped me to adjust the shape.

Also, i held the stems while doing spiralling, too hard. Ended up alot of stems snapped. It was fun. Tmr would be another full day course. 

Need practice man.

Security course

Yay I just completed a security module. 4 more to go. Today is a floristry course.

If I could, would like to try out for a part time job as a florist, cum security officer.

I have my courses arranged till mid nov. Still have one more to schedule.

Hopefully it works out. Meantime still enjoying my break.

I completed my PS5 game. Am thinking if I should buy black myth wukong to try.

Maybe can see after I completed my security module?

Old dbz and sailormoon cards

I just sold another 9 dbz cards. Yay 40 bucks, gave a 5 bucks discount.

Earlier sold alot of my dbz to another guy for 80 bucks.

Sold 4 sailormoon cards for 20.

Altogether collect 140. Well the cards would just become trash eventually, so decided to sell to those who loves them.

知足

I had lunch with ex colleagues today. Most of them were lamenting about the new HOD, good and bad points.

I only lent a listening ear cos can't really chip in. Anyway after that, sang some songs and I left to go century sq buy a labubu blind box. The pastry series is sold out, so left the yoga series. Tried to get the lightest but got a confident pose one instead. Was aiming for the sleeping one.

Anyway saw a carousel saying can trade for sleeping one. Not sure if they are serious or not. Anyway no harm done. Friday will go with G to buy some.

Tmr is my first security module. Next Tues and Wed has the floristry arrangement.

Upon reaching home, started watching YouTube. Then I started watching the coffin hk squatters and gradually it auto played to hk poverty videos. Also watched chen han wei clean house series.

Some reflections - I am really blessed to own a home. I saw people living in less than 100 SQ feet areas. At least if I die, I die in my wide house. I really don't have much complaints. If I go, I go with no regrets.

Some thoughts - the future is abit bleak with impending war in middle east. Oil price is shooting up, inflation will likely kick in. Will Fed continue to lower the interest after this recent round.

You only have today,  好好活着，改天跟他分享你这几年的生活有趣事。

Another new month

I had a dream last week of me marrying my hubby, but we quarrelled over something. Anyway it could be a sign that I would die, according to 周公解梦。

Being pondering over stuff since my barista FI. Is there something I want to do? After much thought, I arrived at the answer "no". I always thought if I were given a death sentence today, of a few days or months, how would I pass my days? 

Amazingly, I would continue to do what I do now. Spend more time with family and friends. 我可以心安理得地走。No regrets.

Going for a mammogram this sat, hope things are ok. But if not, just prepare for the worst. My only concern would be leaving my 2 elderly dogs behind, for my family to take care.

Meantime, continue to live today as if there is no tmr.

This month, starting thursday, would embark on my courses.

Monthly budgets

Woops I burst my budget for Sept.

Aug - 3.1k (PS5 and games and donation in hubby name)

Sep - 2.5k (600 for dog staycation and 133 for security course)

Oct - 2.2k (due to vet fees and florists course costs)

Nov - 2.5k (600 for dog staycation)

Dec - 2k (dental costs)

Jan 25 - 1.8k

2025 May will have income tax - estimate 2.5k

2025 March Penang trip - flight and accomodation 600 plus dog 510

2025 Aug/Sep - donations 800

2025 Sep genting dog staycation 600

Dental 500

Dog vet fees 250

2nd free Chinese tuition today

In another 1 hr, will be conducting my 'tuition' to speak, to my sis colleagues daughters. I didn't ask for this, it is more of helping in any way. Any way it is a bit hard to hold on kids attention nowadays so I will aim for 45 minutes. No distractions.

This is my 2nd month into lean FI. Haha actually I burst my monthly budgets for past 2 months so I am technically not FI. Always have some splurges here and there. Well, what is there to life if I don't enjoy some of it now.

Yesterday was having a Convo with G, if I die and they all passed on eventually, our assets would go to XM. He is the youngest and likely will survive us. I really hope my assets could go to those that need it, not to him because he would be inheriting a lot from my deceased uncle estate. Well, such matters are out of my hands. It would be heaven's will, if I survive long enough, I would donate to charities instead.

Bank and lawyer firm

My 3rd uncle wife came to sg on Thurs. She was here to settle bank and lawyer stuff pertaining to my deceased uncle. Earlier helped her to email cdp and find lawyer keen to take up the task. Anyway after many months, the lawyer agreed to meet us on 27 Sept. So my aunt came out, bringing all the documents.

It was her first time first, I let her stay at my place since she is here for 1 night. I have spare room. She stayed Thurs nite, today morning, brought her to have breakfast opposite my place. Then we went to century sq dbs bank to see if we could settle her matters. Ended up the bank also need a resealed LOA. So no choice, we wanted to go home first. Then mum wanted to treat her to a lunch, so we met at Bedok mall and ended up eating at Goku. It was decent fare, I ordered curry pork.

After that, we just jalan jalan, mum wanted coffee. Before what, Geoky want to try fun claw, managed to get a 包夹 so luckily the five bucks din go wasted.

We wasted more time then 1.40pm, we left for Chinatown point. We were getting quite tired at this point. I woke up 4am so feeling the z monster. We made our way there, then we were 30mins early but the lawyer was ok to meet us. He took the documents, suggested we do a fresh LOA for sg assets because the msia LOA has many msia assets which were already settled, and he took the original LOA, marriage cert, death certs in case court need it. This could take 6 months. So I put a reminder to check back on it in March 2025.

My aunt would be going back 8pm back to muar. She gave me a big ang bao earlier. Felt bad to receive it. I am helping her, expecting nothing in return. Mum told me to just take it. 

Cherish your current stuff

I gotta learn how to cherish what I have now. Heart keep wanting to buy stuff - bags, clothes, blind box etc.

Need to remind myself I am incomeless, and need to save after bursting my 1800 monthly budget.

Aug - 3.1k

Sep - likely 2k

Imm

It had been 2 years. I last went IMM in Nov/Dec 2022, a few months after his death. I just wanted to get out of the house, and shopped til In dropped dead. I hope I died then. It was that bad, in a depressive state.

2 years later, I decided on IMM after my sis G asked me go shopping. At 1pm, I left home, determined to take bus197 ride there. I like to sit on bus and admire the scenery. The whole bus journey was 1hr50min. It went to many areas - Chinatown, bukit merah, clementi, all these places bring me memories especially Chinatown. I teared abit because Chinatown was our favorite place. We went there like once a month.

Anyway, I reached JE 3.20pm, and decided to look around the jcube side to see what had changed. I was trying to find the coffeeshop where I used to buy caifan in 2013/2014. I finally found it and la kopi c kosong there. Then I walked to JE library and read a book. Finished it by 5.45pm and decided to go buy tissue paper before meeting G at the mrt.

We were walking to luckin when we saw a popmart shop. G saw a 2019 labubu series that she wanted. She bought one and din get the one she wanted. Ended up the box we thought was the bun, was the one she wanted. She bought altogether 3 boxes. Y adopted the 2 unwanted.

After that, we bought a drink at luckin, before making our way to IMM. We are BK, something my hubby and I always would eat. We then went to the shops selling bags to see if I could find the bag I want. I found a very close one at Guess, priced 179 but the bag was small. So in the end, just window shopped till it was time to go home. The journey back was a long way haha. Reached home, quickly fed my hungry dogs. Made coffee and bathed. Slept around 12mn.

Sunday would be my first tuition with S kids. I hope this would be my way of giving back to society.

Dessert buffet

My elder sister Y jio-ed me to eat the chateraise dessert buffet yesterday. I agreed immediately. The venue is at millenia walk.

Almost 20 years ago, wanjing, shimin and myself went for a chocolate buffet and we could not eat much because the cakes are all rich and chocolatety. End up we didn't make our money worth. Then some time later, wanjing jio-ed me to go a one day durian buffet trip in JB. I skipped breakfast and only ate a few durian before I felt very full. 

So this round, for ,25 bucks, I didnt hold too much hope. You will have a drink and unlimited dessert from their dessert booth. The selection was not great, and they do not replenish finished items during the 90 minutes I was there. So those who came to the buffet later, ended up having very few selections. This irks me a lot.

Anyway we tried all the items, and only a handful are good. I like the cinnamon prune pound cake slice (retail 4 bucks) and ate 2 pieces. Also ate the french pink crispy toast. Ice cream reminded me of yole. Honey cake was soft and fluffy. Rest did not live up to their mark - either too dry, or not impressive. Y also agreed. We tried to have 2nd or 3rd go at the nice cakes. Ate till very full (3pm) so I decided to skip dinner.

Anyway I won't recommend it to anyone. Not worth the calories.

Herbal soup

I cooked herbal pork soup yesterday, using ready made packs from Sheng siong. Instead of pork ribs, I used pork meat. Hehe it was ok, cos I do not have a soup pot so can't really let the soup simmer. So I just cooked it for 20 plus minutes. The meat of course didn't soak in the soup taste. Anyway I spent 17 for the ingredients, of which 10 was paid using cdc vouchers.

This can last me 6 meals at least. 

I need to buy brown rice next, and try jap curry.

The next time I am going to cook using my rice cooker. Hope the herbal soup can make it.

Don't rely on others to take care of u

When hubby passed on, I felt very lonely, guess it was more than ever. When I watched youtubers going overseas with their hubby, I felt sad.

2 years have gone by. I am still alone and will remain so, a promise made. 

My thinking has changed. There is no one who is going to love you more than yourself. There is no one who you can count on to take care of you. So you only have yourself.

whether I have a war chest?

Initially I thought I could invest another 30k into stocks, so am making some calculations in case I got it wrong.

I have 52k on hand, if I uses 30k, I would have 22k.

Now is mid Sept, I assume I need 

- 1k for remaining Sept

- 2k for Oct

- 2.5k for Nov

- 2k for Dec

- 2k for Jan

Total 9.5k

Left 22k - 9.5k = 12.5k

Dec 24 - additional 5k

My 17.5k should last me 4 months (Feb to May 25) of 8k, leaving 9.5k, where I might get 7k for May. Left 16.5k. 

June to Aug: Aug expect 10k, left 26.5 minus 2kx3mths = 20.5k

Sep to Dec: expects 5k in Dec, 25.5k - 4mthsx2k = 17.5k

Judging by this lousy analysis, I should have enough to last till end 2025 even if I can't find a part time job.

Some one-off expenses - dog staycation for mar 2025, maybe another genting trip in Sep 2025. 800 for donation. Dental 500. Entertainment for PS5 games.

1.5mth into my break

Today marks the 1.5 month into my break. Can I say I am into FI? I told my bro I am lol

My investment pot and cash is worth 588k as at today.

This is after 18 years of working and investing. Of which 100k is inheritance.

588k at 4 percent return, is around 24k. This could fund me perpertually.

I have been trying to keep my basic to below 2k so tt I need not fret to find work very soon. But Aug month I overspent because of my donation of 800 bucks and 560 PS5. Every year I would try to donate in hubby's name, to do some good deeds so that it can go to him. Sep - I would overspend by 600 because of the genting family trip. Nov would have another short trip. Oct would have lily vet fees. Dec would have my dental fees.

Otherwise, my month expenses could be 2k. Haha who am I kidding..judging by the above, I would burst my budget. Anyway I would have 21k from this year's dividends. So I would not be digging into my trove even after Jan 2025.

This past month, am mostly sick. Ran a marathon (last one), played 2 PS5 games, gone overseas to msia twice (once to jb and genting). Am quite sick because I caught a blocked nose recently. So could not go jogging as my nose quite blocked.

Cooked a few meals - my ruroufan failed. Recently I spent 8 bucks on green red peppers and mushroom. I mixed all and cooked with haidilao tomato paste. It was nice, I love to have different texture in one dish. Next dishes I am thinking of cooking - pork ribs herbal soup. 

Hmm I still have red and green beans, I should finish them before I cook other stuff. Well, so more red bean can replenish blood, I am having menses. So just nice. Maybe I can cook this Thurs.

4d3n getting trip 2024

This was our 2nd family trip to genting. 4d3n.

My gambling pot was set at RM2k.

Day 1: woke up 3am. Driver reached 5am and off we went. No jam at causeway. Next, we went to muar to pick up bro and May. Had a super spicy Korean sandwich for breakfast. We were on our way to Genting. We reached genting half mountain, driver A recommended a zhuchao place where not very crowded. Had a hearty lunch and off we go, and we drank Starbucks while we wait for the 3pm to go self check in at first world hotel. Shit happened - we couldn't do the self check in, and we had to wait for the counter. The wait was gruelling as there was 150+ people in front. In the end, realized we had to do the self check in at the Agoda machines......wasted 1.5 hr and we were superb tired by the time we reached out hotel. Dinner was Din Tai Fung. Checked out the casino and played 100rm slot.

Day 2: woke up early. Watched dark justice league and me and Y set off for the casino. Played a new Cleopatra slot. Then a golden coin one lost 300rm. Next decided to play long teng hu xiao and won 350rm before losing it all back....

Lunch was with G and mum, at a small shop. Ate the kuey teow mixed. Fell sick with the blocked nose. Bought my Vicks inhaler and more tissue.

Dinner was at a Taiwan eatery. Ate little as not hungry. Went casino watching.

Day 3: woke early, went with y to try the cai shen machines. Lost money. Decide to use my strategy for the long teng hu xiao, failed and lost more. Then I decided I wanted to play the gong gong Lai fu, since I was down 1700. So at this game, I earned back 350. My loss was 1300rm.

Went to outlet since G and mum never took a cable car before. Wanted to buy a carlo lino blue bag that resembles a Chanel boy bag but there was no new piece. Settled for another small white creamy one. It was nice to touch. I need to use this.

Went back and me and G went to check out a shop selling blind box. I got myself a pirated skullpanda by accident... Well what to do, next time need to check properly.

After that, went back to hotel and y fell asleep. G jio-ed me to go jalan jalan and we walked all around. Until dinner time and we had a super cheap meal at Umi, beside caring. Went to learn some dai sai table games from bro and May. I won 130rm. 

Day 4: back to sg, reached sg 9pm plus.

Authentic Korean meal

After my exercise routine, I had a hearty Korean meal at novena.

I ordered the teoboki with cheese and corn dog. First time having such a cheese meal but enjoyed it. 

Have been having a good meal these 2 days. Skipped dinner today, having only 2 pieces of rice crackers.

Tmr will go PS with Y. Haha not sure why she jio-ed me, is it she wanna buy more labubu popmart ;)

Lazy yoga bubu

Yesterday had a whole day outing with younger sister G. We met at 6am and went to buona vista to eat MAC breakfast. Next we parted ways as she headed for her nuh doc appointment while I went to Holland V to explore. Hmm the new mall was nothing much. Went to ntuc finest, hoping to find a frypan. Finished exploring real fast.

Decided to go beauty world to see. Drank 1 kopi amidst the rain, and bought a slippers and batteries and some oishi bread. Man, the slippers are painful to wear. I decided to use it as a form of massage for my sole 5 to 10 mins a day. 

Then i rejoined G at kent ridge mrt and she bought a 5 bucks sweater. We went straight to tampines to buy my patch clothing but sadly there was no more patch section.

We played some claw machines and got 3 dolls. Took a drink break at luckin - the waxberry drink I had was very nice. Will drink it again. Then we went to see popmart and lo and behold, we saw the lazy yogi labubu series that Y wanted.

We called her and she only wanted 2 boxes. In the end, me and G decided to buy a box each. Total 4 boxes - we got 1 of what she wanted, and the mystery box - how lucky. Y wanted all the 4 boxes. Damage 64 bucks for her.

Next we went Isetan. bought a 28cm frypan from isetan. No more patch clothing.

Gone back Bedok to eat the samgor mixian. The food was particularly nice. Ate the tomato based. Added some toppings plus 2 tufei wings - was damn full. Went back home thereafter.

Total damange for myself 100 bucks. Anyway enjoyed the trip. Slept at 8pm cos i slept 3hrs only. Woke up 5 sept 7am, almost 11 hrs of sleep.

Yellow Ribbon run

1 Sep yellow ribbon run would be my last marathon.

Things were off from the start, J and I were late. J even stayed at my place the night before. The taxi dropped us off 2km away from the venue. By the time we near the starting point, the 10km race already started. We had no choice as we were going in opposite direction. So we just joined in and ran.

The run was quite challenging as it was uphill and downhill most of the time. I only ran 6km before I had to walk. Prior to this, I didn't train because was down with a bad cough. Nevertheless I tried my best. The day was hot, and I was so tired, thirsty at the end. Couldn't wait to get home and bathe.

I told J that this would be the last. I would continue to jog but not participate in marathon. Knees not good, body was aching. Didn't sleep at all so the whole sunday was spent napping. Had a simple lunch comprising of 2 stalks of soba. Dinner was 1 bar of chocolate.

Luckily the body ache went away, only left the pain in my thighs.

Next Sunday would be my getting trip. Looking forward to it, zero expectation.

Comex

My elder sister jio me to go suntec comex as she wanted to renew starhub contract and a new laptop. In terms of tech, we are lagards, we don't really care what is the latest because we don't need to use it.

So we were off and we did the 2 kpis within a short while. Y got an Acer laptop 999 with Microsoft office (1 year). She recontract broadband at 55/month and got a free handphone. I get no shit when I recontracted.

Next time I need to recontract at such comex....

Anyway Y recommended a place to eat Taiwan pork chop rice, very homely and cheap 5.50, and a la kopi place. The kopi was filled with people. Why are there so many people haha. Thought I was the only very free person around.

Today marks the end of my FI first month.

Next month, I want to travel to eunos, kallang, east coast park to walk more.

Retirement - success or failure

I was reading a book which talks about how much self understanding would result in a happier or sad retirement.

Reflecting on myself, I remembered when I wanted to quit my job, I drew up a timetime (by hours block) to schedule my days.

But after quitting, I never once refer to it. Haha who am I kidding.

My days are mostly spent with family, friends, or ex colleagues.

I wanted to learn but as I think through, I actually do not want to learn programming. I wish to venture into more artistic ventures - I decided to take a course on floristry (signed up for classes in Oct). Since I like to be on my feet, I decided to be a security guard. Haha.

My Mondays, Tuesdays are mostly filled. Wednesday is a full free day. Thur and Fri are gym days. Sat and sun are music days.

I just spent 1.7k on a new music package to continue with my guqin lessons. Music is my life.

I love solitude because am uncomfortable with people. But I crave for someone to go eat, watch movie with. I should do all these alone.

Now I have free time, I would try to read. Watched demon slayer 24 episodes. Completed 1 ps5 game. Started on my Valkyrie elipsium which needs some getting used to.

Bedok 85

G suggested for a dinner at Bedok 85. She wanted to feel the ambience of what Singaporeans enjoy on Friday nights.

Well, I was half full from eating a bag of lentil chips. Then we only ate satay and bbq chicken wings. The satay was from 2 stalls, in wanted to eat a piping hot one, as a last remedy for my cough.

Hmm, I felt my cough got abit better today.

The leftover bones were given to my dogs - Lily cannot take oily food. She regurgitated some. I only gaver her the wing tips and some rice. Whereas Xiaobai took the mid wings and thicker bones.

Rained today so didn't go for a jog.

I completed my PS5 harvest moon game - trying to drag it as much as I could so that my games could last longer. Spent 60hours on the game.

2 weeks into FI

2 weeks plus have passed. 

I only did some stuff - cooked once, colored once, and picked up my japanese book. But the steam went off. I can't seem to muster the will to do anything.

Played a lot of PS5. 

Couldn't run due to cough and menses.

Trying to finish the praying food.

Reading other people's finance blogs

I am not sure if reading other people's blog help because they either have accumulated millions in war chest, or receiving 5k a month of dividends.

Here I am, having invested conscientiously since 2007, and my war chest is only a small one. I am not sure if others have inflated their figures, but instead of being inspired, felt deflated.

I started reading reddit and then saw people talking about having millions. Puts me off. Maybe this is stemming from my low self esteem and jealously.

Anyway having millions to deplu, versus having a few thousands to deploy, are different. Can't apply the same strategies.

I recently sold my meta share at 512. Bought at average price 186. Made around US$3400. More or less made up for my F&N loss.

Popmart day

Today beside going for my Muay Thai session, and having lunch with ex colleagues in the kopitiam, evening time, I went out with G to Funan. We had a simple penynet at the food court, then we went straight for popmart.

There is still the 5.90 promo with any standard purchase, so I bought the sound series skullpanda which I find all the designs to be acceptable. Got a different one. Then bought 2 at 5.90.

G picked the weird series while she picked the space labububfor Y. Haha G got an ugly ducky one, and a frogger labubu for Y.

Anyway I guess these are the last few blind boxes that we could buy. Mum not happy.

So this could be my last one too. I need to admire my collection.

I dreamt of YS last night. I remembered we were heading to somewhere like Bukit panjang, then suddenly I saw him with some other friends. We then lined up to buy some food. I cant remember what stall, maybe he wanted to eat something but I cant remember. Haiz

卤肉饭

My KPI was to cook 卤肉饭 using my rice cooker.

I was very hyped up, and I changed into my clothes to rush to the market. Immediately the rain started, so funny. 

Anyway I just played my harvest moon till 10.30am when the rain 🌧️ finally stopped. Quickly rushed to buy the meat, tomato, ginger, spring onion and came home. Immediately started to process the food.

Next time, reduce the sugar (1 teaspoon or so), reduce water, add salt.

Tmr is my 14th day of freedom

Tmr is my 14th day of freedom.

I don't feel rested mainly because I still have the cough that acts up.

Can't go jogging to prep for my marathon.

Am kept busy by my family commitment - mon and Tues are days for mum. Wed is free. Thurs and Fri exercise day. Went back exercise last Thurs as wanted to build up stamina. 

I shall train using my elliptical for this period.

Sleepwise - only able to sleep 6 hours.

I decided to peek at JobStreet to see whether I could find any jobs I am interested, just see and look only.

Meanwhile enjoying my PS5 game - need take it slowly, don't chiong else finish means got to buy a new game.

Sat - Ps5

Today evening, will go with sis to biy PS5. She wants to place the game console at my place. Along with this, I intend to buy 2 games - harvest moon and valkyrie profile series. Damage will be approximately 600 on my part. This is financed by my rm conversion (simon and his wife - 650 and 500).

Hope with this purchase, i will stop thinking of buying a branded bag.

Updated

We did buy a PS5. I bought 2 games - harvest moon and Valkyrie elipsium. 56 and 80 bucks respectively. Well, the last time I played a PS was in JC 8 months break moving into university. A good 22 years. Talked about delayed gratification.

How long more do I have? 

Hopefully I will divert my attention from buying stupid bags.

Thurs and fri

I got my x-ray results back, all is clear.

My gp suspect my cough is an asthmatic cough and gave me med and inhaler. Started using it but felt no difference.

Will use until all is finished. Yesterday went back to fightzone, I want to starty exercise despite my cough. Just had to take it slowly. Ate with my colleagues in office cos hod not around. Felt different given that I am no longer a staff. Anyway life goes on.

Today family came to pray to thank the deities. After that, me and yenn went orchard popmart. Next had a malay lunch at far east. The fried kway teow was nice, taste like msia style. Ice lemon tea was good.

Next, we decided to walk to doby ghaut popmart. Shunbian walk off some calories. Then along the way, we went to centre point ntuc to buy some drinks. Continued walking to popmart.

By that time we reached, felt my heel pain. I also felt the muscle ache in my thihhs from yesterday workout. We decided to check back Bedok popmart machines, in the end, there was no yogabubu.

I decided to share PS5 with my sister. Would start playing harvest moon, and Valkyrie profile. As yenn was in a rush, she said to buy tmr when she is not so pressed for time. So we went denki and ended up the Sonia fan I bought is out of stock. 

Went home after that. Clocked 14k steps today.

Garden by the bay day

I have always wanted to go garden by the bay, but I had never had the chance.

For 20 bucks, I went with wj to both domes. Started 7.45am via mrt, reached the garden by the bay mrt 8.40am but I needed to walk another 500m. Wj was lost, and finally around 9am, we went into flower dome first. The domes are air condition, so it was cooling. Strolled slowly and taking every chance to find a camera worthy flowers. The theme was monet, but not very impressionable. The cloud forest dome was less interesting, mostly greens. Well at least one thing off my mind.

Had lunch at Sbcd prawn pancake, it was good. La kopi with cake at kith. Spent 40 for the meals. Continue to wander around to walk off some calories. Dinner shall be my wrap.

Enjoy your six month break.

G got discharged

Life is uncertain, one minute you are alive, next minute you can be gone.

My only kpi today is go nuh fetch G and then go for erhu class. Feeling bored, I might go pasir ris mall just to kill some time. Treat this as my exercise cos not moving about.

Tmr will be Garden by the bay day with wj. Hehe it is going to be my first trip, and I just want to enjoy some flowers and greenery.   不要留白。

Decided to go pasir ris mall, get my fat ass off the couch. Exercise with weights - my damn heavy tote bag 😅

Freedom day 4 and 5

Yesterday I brought my sis to NUH, she was feeling sick the whole morning, vomitting. Took a cab there. On the journey there, I teared thinking of the trips I made with hubby there when he was alive. Waited a short while at the a&e and sis was wheeled in. I went to find a toilet before buying a Pepsi and sitting down with my jap book.

After that, admin called and I asked to pass the slippers to my sis. Sign ma authorization form and left. The train journey was 1hr10min, bought zhujiaofan and went home. Went about bathing dogs, and cleaning the house. A routine I had for years.

This morning, woke up 5am. Had wanted to go jog but was too lazy. Did my morning routine, used elliptical for 1hr to build my stamina for my run. Practiced erhu for 1hr, and taobao caifan to mum place.

My kpi was to do up the Alibaba bags as mum not feeling well. G will be discharged tmr, so got to go pick her.

My FI days were to take care of my family and I did just that. Life is short, live every moments.

Freedom day 3 and 4

Yesterday was day 3 and we took S car to JB. The five of us started 7am and we reached Jb 8.40am. Had a breakfast at r&c and ate salted egg yolk toast with kopi c.

Then mum and yenn went to settle issues with OCBC bank. Took a long while and things were still not settled. After 1hr plus, we went RHB where it was now G turn to settle her issues. After that, we went city plaza where I bought 4 blind boxes.

By the time we are done, it is already 1pm plus. We ate 22 dishes at the dim sum place, so damn full. Then we left for another aeon mall. The mall is quite atas and we could not find blind boxes, so we decided to go to eat durian and some groceries. I bought 2 dog food sacks, and 2 coffee since I were running low on that. Then we did some claw machining where I got a 包夹 and one tyco ball for another. We got 3 dolls for S kids.

Then we went our last destination where I bought 2 more blind boxes. Had Korean Maggie mee for dinner. Then we went home sweet home. During certain times, I had felt moments of appreciation, without S, we could never be able to go JB. It reminded me of the times I had with him. Be grateful for such things.

Today is day 4. Didnt have anything planned as sat is always a guzheng day. Mum brought some prayers offerings and I helped to place them on the altars. Oh yes, I broke guan yin cup cover, so threw it away and found a replacement. Not feeling well due to medicine side effects. Now still feel queasy at times. Going to guzheng later. Will keep a close eye on mum. Life is short, live it.

Freedom day 2

Today started a morning at 6am plus. I got woken up by the buses and traffic noise. I am a light sleeper.

Decided to get up, and immediately started to arrange my desk, my guqin table and fans. After sweating out an hour, did my usual routine of preparing breakfast and toilet washing. Tried an oufen breakfast but the amount is not substantial. Took my new medicine for my cough.

After that, rest abit and started doing my baobao for LG. Did three quarters way before I felt tired. It could be my meds. I heated up my wraps and just ate 1 for lunch, and I just threw myself on my bed and ko-ed.

Woke up to my dogs barking. Can't be bothered to wake up then finally around 2pm, woke up and made coffee. Now in a clearer mind, continued watching my YouTube.

While looking through some YouTube on china job market,  felt very down. I actually should be grateful, my dividends can give me a 2k per month passive income. Count my blessings that 我说走就走. Life is about living.

Freedom day 1

Yesterday was a hard day. Manged to survive the depart without tears in office. Teared outside, and not in front of colleagues.

Bought snacks for IT, and own depts. Left them quietly at the pantry.

Cleared some emails and then for lunch, we dabao mee from Redhill stall at united square. Went L8 for ktv. Thought that when I go back, I could leave. Cos I didn't want any card or gifts. But my colleagues still bought me gifts. Haiz they still arranged for swensen buffet today evening. They gave me a Fitbit charge 6 and cosmetic. Have to use it.

Must have cost a lot.

Anyway I know why I am leaving. I can't turn back my decisions.

Cried abit at home. Well only my dogs know. Didnt have good sleep as I woke up 1am and tossed and turned till 4am. Slept for 3 hours - moved back to my study room to sleep with door open. I think the heat and stale air made it difficult to sleep in master bedroom.

Today only wanted to go see doc, call lawyer Tang and go eat buffet. 

Tears

I wanted to blog, but posted blog in old blog instead.

Went to read my old blogs, it detailed our starting. I argued with him constantly, over small things, turning against my family for him. I had flashes of memories because there were many meltdowns. 

No point looking back, cherish your happy memories - those msia trips we made. 

We went msia, Vietnam, china, Taiwan, Hong Kong, cruise :) no regrets. You only live life once. I am happy being able to bring him to these places. I have done what I could within my capabilities.

You only have now.

Friends

W is going for a one year masters study in Spain in Sep. We decided to meet for a meal, a bit of a celebratory one to celebrate my last work day and W new education journey.

I booked sun with moon at Wheelock, lunch was fully booked. Woah lucky I made a booking in advance via messenger.

We ate lunch - the variety was there. Vegetables, eel rice, it was a nice portion. Ate desserts too. Next we walked around a bit before walking to tcc at shaw. Have drinks and more food.

Haha as we age, we just want to sit down and drink or eat. None of us want to shop - our wants are so low. 

We talked so much. W has quit last jul, and she said the first thing is to slow down and just enjoy the moment. Told her about my plan to focus on exercise and running. She shared about her hiking experience.

We also talked about how we want to live if told we die soon, or within one year. We just want to spend time with love ones, and won't change anything else we are doing. Life is short. I don't know I have. She talked about her father anxiety about death. For me, I wish my death is swift. That is all I wish for. No prolonged suffering for the sake of suffering. I am very more concerned about the quality of life than just living.

If I am at my deathbed, I will miss drinking a warm cup of coffee, eating chocolates, chips, walking around and feeling free. Wind blowing on my face and hair. Going to toilet myself. These are things I have, but never have the mind space to admire and appreciate.

You only live life once.

Received my last pay

I received my last pay yesterday. This marked the end. The end of my journey with this company I worked 14 years 3 months for. 

As I mentioned earlier, while I have issues with the company, I am also grateful to this company. My colleagues, bosses, ex bosses, they believed in me.

This job allowed me to buy a house, owned cars, have two dogs and reached FI. I must not forget this. 

On the other hand, it gave me sleepless nites, anxiety, drained me of my life.

Regardless, this is a chapter of my life that would end on coming tues. Documenting my thoughts.

Yesterday had weird dreams about a male colleague. I hope I am not overthinking because I really feel nothing. 

I have promised my hubby before I will not remarry. I will fulfill this promise. I do not need a guy to come and change my life. My life is in my hands. I shall give myself the love, courage to move onwards to my second chapter. Barista FI.

老公在天之灵，会祝福和支持我的。我很相信这点。

4.5 more work day

One more exhausting day.

Wfh today, as still having cough. Cough is manageable if not talking.

Tmr to thurs will wio. Fri, next mon and tues is half day.

A few things to do, clear my cabinet tmr. Have a good lunch with my IT colleagues.

Cancelled term insurance

Was sick for past week - coughing like mad.

One more week or to be precise 6 more working days to my freedom day.

This week, I have cancelled my AIA cancer guard. The premium almost doubled to 72 from 40. Considering I have a 150 cancer cover which cost 90, I thought it was not worth to continue paying 72 for 80k coverage. My remaining AIA cancer cover term plan would only get more expensive as I age, so decided to cut down on my whopping 650 monthly insurance over.

I also cancelled my pruvantage term insurance that cost 90 a month for 500k term coverage. I still remember how I got this policy, it was because when I bought my Bukit Pangjang Blk 427 flat, a financial adviser called me saying he can share a plan that I would no longer need to worry about insurance later on. Pigued, I went to meet him. Then upon meeting him, he went one huhh circle drawing me diagrams and saying how this plan would help me. End up what he was suggesting, was buy a term insurance equal to 500k (my flat value) then next time I upgrade my house, I will continue to be covered.

I was rolling my eyes. Cos I had been an agent before, and had bought term insurance before, what he was saying is not really some new thing. Anyway I told no harm to buy more term since I thought if any 3 long 2 short happens to me, YS need monies. So I bought.

When I reviewed my own insurance recently, I realized my house is already covered by hps, not full but a long percentage. If I dies, my house is practically free, my sisters can sell them for a good amount. Plus my CPF monies, investments, and remaining term insurance of 200k, this is easily 1.5mil. They are well provided for.

My only worry is if I get cancer, and I won't have monies to pay for my medical expenses. But I already have 150k aia, 100 fwd and prushield premier, I should be able to pay. If I tio kidney failure, my prushield should be able to pay for that. So I die die have to keep my prushield extra that is a whopping 177 a month. Shot up from 126. I intend to cancel my AIG next. This will cut my insurance costs to 377 (excluding AIG).

Marc Jacob canvas

Initially I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, cos I could see some discoloration on my medium canvas tote bag. Hmm, I only just bought it in early April from Japan.

Was still thinking if I should buy their new denin series, now I have some reservations. Imagine the fading for buying a 500++ bag.....I think not worth it.

Went to do some googling, and it seems the fading is inevitable.

Anyway mine was a blue greyish tote, so still not so obvious, but if it continues to fade, I think I might have to go some color dye to spruce it up. Wish me luck.

Counting down, 6 more working days.... My last day at my job.

Don't spend unnecessary monies lol but I still went to ask G to buy 2 new nanci figurines from taobao. Something I kinda hooked on. Haha maybe I need to let go abit. Life is short. Don't spend big monies on luxury bags, u r going to have a new dumpling bag soon.

Will be going to jb on 2 Aug to have some fun. 

LG, I am sorry for treating you so badly in your last few months. I know it is a bit too late, u r no longer around. If I ever dreamt of u, I would apologise. I will redeem myself, by dabbling into healthcare after my six months break. I couldn't control my emotions, there were too much on my shoulders and everything fell on me. When u started to recover, I was feeling so hopeful u will survive, then in a flash, u are gone. My anxieties were so bad, ruminating over work, your health, the dogs and myself.... But there is no excuse. I hope I can move on and do something meaningful.

8 more working day to freedom

Not counting today, i have 8 more working days to freedom. 

I am very excited to countdown. 

I remembered I had never been so excited when I quit my prudential, call centre and sme publisher job. This is the first time I look forward to it.

Why this change? My prudential days were a struggle, not making enough to feed myself, resigned in shame.

My call center days - everyday was tiring and i failed to hit the call quota every single day. Resigned in shame.

Sms publisher - bored to tears everyday. Once again i under performed - writing the least no. of articles. 

Current job - i underperformed for the first year. After that, picked myself up from c minus to c. Even getting plus. Got promoted 2 times in the course of my 15 years. Reached the peak and have chosen to leave. Grateful for the opportunities given to me, for the colleagues and bosses who have been kind to me. This chapter is coming to an end. I will not regret this.

What has happened, had happened. Nothing can ever change this fact. I will try to learn new things so that i can tell him all my stories that one d day. Learn from life, cherish what you have, people you love. Life can be gone the next second or minute. 

Think what you will regret on your deathbed? The freedom to breathe fresh cool air, see the skies, walk the paths, just living.

You dont have to do anything. You are enough, have enough.

Completed reading another book

I just completed an ebook The Year of Less. 

Ever since I seriously thought of quitting, I wanted to pick up reading. I saw somewhere reading can help with anxiety.

This is my 2nd non fiction book, there was one that I completed earlier. Rest wereainly half finished attempts.

This book reasonate me as I could feel some commonalities - being fat, dressing poorly, shopping addiction, loss (author 's being her parents divorce while mine my hubby's passing). She coped by turning on her tv every waking moment - and here I was, thinking I was the only one doing it.

I turned on my tv the moment I wake up, or come back home. I cannot tolerate no noise. for the past two years, I slept with my HP on meaning I would watch YouTube until I fell asleep. Until now, I still do this. It helps me get back to sleep. Have trouble sleeping after his death.

There were times I coaxed myself to sleep saying I will meet him in my dreams. I did.

I also listen to Buddhist chants when I feel very bad. The music coaxed or sooths me. Feel calmer everytime.

I would have to go on a shopping ban and tv ban someday. Till now, I guess my goal is to figure out whether my 1.8k budget works or not.

Time to sleep. 10 more working days and I am on my 6 month career break.

Temple run

Today S came and fetch the three of us to the temple - bishan mazu, hua guang, and joo chiat guanyin temple.

Mum wants to repay after her cataract surgeries had went smoothly. Ate lunch at Bedok heartbeat bugies.

G wants to treat, so i had rosti. Nice lunch. Total bill 103 for 5 pax.

Then went sheng siong, i stayed outside drinking my iced kopi c kosong. Then S eldest daughter wanted to come to my house to pee. 

My dogs barked as usual, and she was too afraid to come in. I had to wrestle and hug both dogs so that she can go use the toilet, very hilarious scene. Haha she went and told the rest that i fell down. I think it is quite an amusing scene. Anyway i didnt hurt myself, she managed to go wee wee. 

After tt, reached home at 2pm and has been binge watching youtube. Nothing better to do. Still coughing so didnt want to exert myself.

Steamed my siew mai and mum food for an early dinner. A simple meal.

Initially had thought of doing the envelope way so that i could track the amount I spend in a month, but immediately i realised only food expenses would be in cash. All othwrs are paid through my cards. Well there goes.

Bought a 窝窝头 to eat. Something i am interested to find out the taste.

To build wealth, just invest and dont spend on luxurious stuff. But one must be balanced, to spend a bit to enjoy the money since you cant bring a cent with you when your time is up.

Prushield extra premium

I got a rude shock when I saw my pru extra is going to cost me 171. It was 126 the past 1 year and i feeling the heat.

Will try to review my insurance coverage in 2026 after i fully settled y hdb loan. Maybe i will cancel off my 500k term, and my AIA cancer plans, leaving me with 1 200k term, 1 prushield and pru extra, 1 fwd cancer coverage.

In the end, I decided to just go ahead to terminate my pruvantage, and my AIA cancer guard which cor me 90 and 72 a month. I intend to cancel my AIG insurance which cost 55 a month (doubled in premium over the years).

DBZ cards

Today just suddenly had a thought to monetize my DBZ prism cards. I was thinking i am going to throw them away anway, why not milk whatever i could from it.

So i just took some lousy pics and post on carousell putting sky high pieces. Thinking there wont be buyers. Within less than 1hr, i got 3 enquiries. Not bad.

Then got 1 serious buyer want to see all that the cards I had.

In the end, we met 10pm below my block and talked 45mins. He took 4 original ones which i sold for 70, and he took 30 over dupe golden cards which he liked. All in all, just asked for 80, and he readily agreed. Haha 有点半送半卖。

I guess i am not into DBZ so am not attached to it. He also took a metal sailor pluto card - haha just because it is unique. 

Anyway to me, all will be trash one day so might as well give to someone who appreciates them.

Semi-retired on >500k in sg

I decided to quit my job and I did. My last day is on 30 July. Have been in this job for 14 years, 3 months.

Life is short. I wish to take a break to figure what I want to do in my remaining time on earth. 

I have >500k invested in stocks, and will be living off my dividends during this break.

I still have a housing loan of 260k that is currently serviced by my cpf oa. If my singtel and cdl stocks (bought with cpf oa moniee) could make a profit of 40k, i could pay off this loan amount in 2026. So this does not worry me even if i remain unemployed for a long time.

During my break, I will need to keep my expenses to 1800. Will track to see if this is doable. Intend to rest 6 months, go do things that brings me joy and spend time with my family and friends. 

After the break, i will go find a part time job to work at most 3 days a week. This is to keep my mind active.

Side hustle?

I was watching some YouTube videos on finance this morning as usual which talks about side hustles etc.

I always find it admirable that there are people out there who can still find the energies to work on their hustles after work. For me, my job drains me of life everyday, such that I cant even sleep at night. All my thoughts were on work. It has been so for 15 years.

One thing I had consistently done, is investing. Started on my own in 2007/8. Investing then was challenging, I saw my counters all in the red. But I never stopped despite of my fears.

Most of my stocks recovered to new heights, except for some which I sold at a loss.

After my resignation, my investment will feed me. Luckily the dividends are enough for me to cover my expenses. On hindsight, I could have viewed investing as my side hustle. I feel high when buying stocks. If there are any extras, I would continue to put them into stocks.

Sick

Could not sleep last night due to my coughing. Today and tmr on mc. 

Whole day watching YouTube, falling asleep and more YouTube.

Dunno what to do, feel like not doing things.

Am worried I will be bored to tears after 30 July. Wish me luck.

Need to find something's to do, which I have, just no energy to.

Surviving another day

Survived my monday blues. Had very bad anxieties about work issues since fri. Haiz had trouble sleep for past few days.

Then today, 平静地度过。Can I have more of such days for my remaining days, to mark the end of my career.

You will see whether you matter or not. Nobody cares if you die this instant. Dont be fooled by people's lies. 永远要记住，情很薄的。

Financial anxiety

As the day draws closer, my anxiety increased. Haha

I guess this is how I console myself.

Firstly, my 560k will generate around 22 or 23k annually. Meaning if I spend 2k a month, I only have a deficit 1 or 2k annually.

My pot can last me 56 years....I wont live so long.

Plus I can always rent out 1 room to supplement my income. And I definitely will do some part time job. My money will last me indefinitely.

Do what

I am running out of things to do - i cant find youtube videos to watch, i cant enjoy my hk dramas. This is something my hubby and I previously enjoyed, maybe it reminds me of him.

I do not want to spend money cos if i go shopping, i would buy clothings only to give it away.

Today practised some erhu and guqin before i went out at 1.30pm. Reached lavendar 2pm plus. Lim teh o until now still drinking.

Is there something i can do that is free - coloring, drawing. 没心情.

Why I am not in the mood? Am i depressed? Or anxious?

Bedok reservoir scooting

Today went to scoot with G. She hurt her small toe before we reached Bedok reservoir. Anyway we still braved on, and we reached safra. After some difficulty, managed to find Burger king.

Ate a simple meal (my dinner) there. Then we U-turn home because there is no smooth path for us to ride on. Maybe next time I try and venture on my own.

This time round, had a hat, sunscreen and water. There is a stretch of road where the speed was quite fast. Came back home and rest abit before going for guzheng lesson.

Now chillaxing in front of tv. Y bought some pop art and she got the mystery box.

Life is short, need to yolo abit and strive to die with zero.

Tracking my July expenses

Suddenly decided to track my expenses to see the actual amount that I spend on a normal work month. Abit tedious but just wanted to do this so that I can see whether my FI expenses of 1800 is achievable or not.

Today my ex-HOD messenged me, wishing me all the best. I didn't expect this. Have not started drafting my farewell email :)

Counting down 18 more work days.

Life is short, no point working only to be drained of life everyday.

insomnia again

I slept at 9.30pm last night and woke up 2am. Cannot go back to sleep.

Luckily I had taken 3hr timeoff today. 

Now shaking leg in my arm chair writing this blog.

I had not have good sleep since his passing. Hopefully after I quit, I could sleep and heal again. Will reduce my coffee intake from tonight onwards.

3 more weeks....to my freedom. I will be free.

Don't worry and embrace your unemployment - 2nd time where I quit without a job lined up. Life is short.

Feeling emotional today

As I count down to my last day at my company, I felt very emotional. Tearing up, I am not sure why I am crying. Is it because I will miss my colleagues. I know they don't miss me.

Is it because I will miss my pay? I have enough already.

Is it because of my ego, I lose my identity because work is a big part of my life all my life, and I will be a nobody? 我看的很开，没有人是很重要的。In life, everyone is focused on themselves, nobody cares. Ask yourself, do you care about your colleagues - I don't give a damn.

Then why am I sad? 放下才能够得到平静，安乐，真正的快乐。

You are just scared. Be brave and soldier on.

A few investment lessons I learnt

1) Don't buy REITs - even though everyone is singing praises, the business model does not seem sustainable given it is built on debt. There will be a lot of rights issues which means putting more endlessly, not something I want to habe no choice over. Kreits were given free to me.

2) Do not buy china listed shares in Sg, the accounting is not credible. Anytime there could be a bomb dropped.

3) Do not chase highs - I usually buy more stocks when the share price keep dropping. So far, most of my shares have panned out ok

4) Buy in 10k share as much as possible. In my recent buys, I can't really buy 10k shares cos the share prices are too ex. Am accumulating CDL 

5) business cash flow is more important than asset and profits. It tells you how sustainable the company is.

Scooting

Went scooting today in the hot sun. We took a long way to bedok reservoir, passing thru half of bedok town park. Haha G is too tired. She nearly had 2 falls at Bedok reservoir, i guess i am on my own le.

Prepare sunblock, visor, extra tee shirt, water. I plan to scoot to east coast park. Today stepped on some ants, and my slippers alao rubbed too hard on my right feet.

Today Ah Cheong came to look at mum house. Her lights giving her some problems. Did some catching up with him, bought him teh and some 烧包。 These are good, from the bakery near my house. He looked to be bettee spirited. He has a grand daughter and slowing down. I doubt he will ever retire. 

Anyway life must move on, make someone joyful today.

Healthcare

This is something I like to venture into.

I am not sure if I am up for it but I have seen recruitment ads for such temp/part time jobs. I want to try it out, to take it up on 2-3 days per week.

Why? I think part of it stemmed from my guilt. I didn't do my part to take care of my hubby when he was sick. This is like a redemption for me.

I want to do something meaningful, to help the old elderly in ways I could.

Well, G always sarcastically said I could spend that time looking after my mum, which is true. But I still yearn to contribute back to society. 

I might not be able to perserve, but at least I want to try and fail. At my deathbed, I wouldn't go with any regrets.

One more month!!!

It will be over in one month time. Nobody cares. 

Today have discussed with boss and peers who to takeover my projects. Finally the end is near.

You will always be alone. Remember Sham, Gloria, Sarah, your colleagues who have passed on young. Nobody cared right. Only their families would feel the sorrows of their deaths.

Such is life. The earlier you realized, the earlier you will be free.

I am a speck of dust in this universe. 好好活着。

I need to cherish my loved ones.

On 31 July, I no longer trade my life energy for money. Before you close your eyes permanently, go bring joy to yourself and others.

Remember your colleagues are not your family, you are on your own. Jiayou, 老公在天上看着我们😁 他会明白和支持你的。

I was feeling bad the whole day. The moment I went downstairs, I started feeling better. Went bought some tidbits and chocolates, but today dentist found 4 decays, I only filled two since the other two are small decays. 260 gone with the wind, 100 paid with CDC. Better than nothing. Will fix the 2 decays in dec.

After that little bit of Walking around, I actually felt better. Walking could be what I badly need. I want to go for morning walks. One more month!!! 撑着！！！

Marc Jacob bag

Today started to enjoy one benefit of the bag. There is a zipper on my tote bag. It came in very handy when I put my bag behind me when needing to cross mrt barriers or at crowded spot.

Today took a quick trip to bugis to buy 2 extendable rods for 4.50....i bought two of the wrong lengths earlier.

So today the whole day I zipped my bag...feeling abit unsafe these days. Maybe is my paranoia at work.

I guess this is what most minimalist meant by enjoying and discovering new joys in your existing stuff. Whops but I bought a dispenser.

Anyway I had had enough of bags. Need to turn my attention into something that I can't assess. These few weeks had been looking at slot machines.

Imagine everyday your goal is to earn 50 dollars in slots. One month you will have 1500. Not a lot but it gets you by. No need to be greedy. There are days you lose some, you win some.

Well when I view these videos, at least I won't get the itch since it is an annual trip that mum likes.

We going for 2nd family trip this Sept. Something to look forward to.

Dinner was wanton mee cooked with 4 siew Mai. Saved another 6 bucks. 阿Q精神,when I already spent 30 bucks for the whole of today.

Guqin

Initially I was quite sure I am not continuing with my guqin, because it is 85 per lesson and weekly. After I went to calculate, if I joined the geylang one which is 500 for 12 lessons, end up one month is 500/12*4.5=188.

If I continue with eight tones, but is once every two weeks, the monthly amount is85*2.25=191.

So it is comparable. And I asked the admin person, so is doable. So yay, after July, will sign up a package and then this will last me 15months.

Need to relax and enjoy the music.

Did a calculation, if I scrimp and save, I can control all within 1800.

Haha after July, if I want to frivolously buy something, I need to save my shopping expenses for it. Allocated 50 bucks per month for guilt free spending.

After resting 6 months, I want to try my hands at healthcare industry. I hope I can preservere and try a temp job first and see if I can take it. 

Lg will support me in heaven, today I saw 8353 car plate. He came to see me.

Today I decided to utilize my e climate vouchers 300 to buy a stand fan. Cos I have not been able to withstand the Aircon. When I turned on ac at night, at 24deg, low fan, I would always wake up in the middle of the night cos it is too cold. Then when I turned it off, I would wake up again becos is too hot and stuffy. Ac fan mode too warm.

Decided to barricade my dogs out of my master room, tonight will sleep with fan and open door. Hope it works.

This is also in a bid to lower my electricity bill, before I on Aircon, I uses 139kwh. Now it is 200kwh. This will help me save some money in the long run.

Counting down 5 more weeks

Ever since I submitted my resignation letter, I have been counting down. 5 more weeks.

This is what keeps me going despite feeling tired like nobody's business. Life is short, I must learn to let go and enjoy the moment. Ever since I joined the company, I could not chill and relax. Just can't stop ruminating over work.

Work triggers me, into a downward spiral. It has always been so. I never felt so in my previous job as a writer or call centre operator. There had been so many nights I lost sleep over work. My insomnia only worsened after my hubby's death.

I always envy those who adopts a wtf attitude towards work. I tried but it never seems to work. Finally I hope I am still alive by August, to slow down life, and learn to relax.

There is more to life, than work. My family, my health and friendships. Work drains me of all life energy.

Some reflections, have I learnt anything in my working life? Not a lot but I realized all the sacrifices I made, did not matter after he passed away.

I had always wanted to pursue FIRE ever since I joined this company. But now that I hit this goal, there is nobody that I can share this joy with. At home, I will continue to talk to the air as though he is still here to listen. 

Cherish and love those remaining. Create memories with them 😁 

Siew Mai with tomato rice

Since early Feb, after I came back from Ipoh, my weight ballooned to 71kg. It was puzzling, I didn't eat Ike nobody's business during the 3d2n.

After that, decided to try cooking some of my meals. I started eating red bean soup for meals. Then progressed to green bean soup. Switched back to red bean because green beans get very mushy. I prefer to have some texture to my bean soup.

Then I realized my mixed grain had expired this year. Without caring, I decided to cook it for my meals so as not to waste the two packets of mixed rice.

I cooked a few times with dumplings. Need some proteins. Cannot be eating just carbos. Tried it out and subsequently started adding oyster sauce for some taste because it was quite bland. Ate this way until left half the rice.

Recently was into tomato paste - I cooked wanton noodles with tomato paste and baked beans. I liked the combination. 

Today went to buy some siew mai, chives dumplings, and tomato paste (haidilao) for 30 bucks. I mixed 3 cups of rice, 5 siew Mai, and 1 pack of paste. Initially wanted to use the bak kuk the but decided to leave that for future.

The rice is flavourful without needing to add any sauce. I think this pot can last me 5 meals. I save 5*6.50=32.50 including today's dinner. 6.50 is usually how much I pay for a meal and drink at opposite coffeeshops.

This cook maybe cost 4(paste)+2(5 siew Mai)+1(grains)= 7 which can replace 5 meals.

If I cook like this once every week, I could save ~150. Assuming I spend 6.50 per day for 7 days which is ~210. Save 90 :)

Scooting day

Hehe today as usual, went to my mum's house. Along the way, went to buy a black forrest cake, cos G wanted to eat one. When I reached 85, only left the smaller one. Bought it with cdc vouchers.

The cake was like a normal choc cake. Ok to eat. Then at 3pm, we set out to scoot. We bought the scooter from lazarda msia. Practised scooting below the deck. Then we darted out to JTC, as we approached we saw a path along the canal. We scooted all the way to bedok reservoir park. We went around one half before u turn back as i need to go for guzheng.

We scooted back within 30mins. Well it was tiring and fun. Havent had so much fun in a long while. I would like scoot to east coast park after i am unemployed 😁

Spending my dividends earned only

Previously I watched a Financial coconut episode about 2 guys whom reached FI. One of them taught me something, he only consume his dividends. So what he had earned equate what he could spend.

Deciding to adopt this.

After I quit (i already tendered), I would be officially unemployed from Aug. So i have 5 months.

So my expected dividends for this year is 21k. Minus 10k means i have excess 11k which adds on to my 21k of 2025. So i have 32k for 2025. Am thinking to invest 11k so my dividends can increase.

Remember you quit to spend more time with family and on yourself. Time does not wait.

Today is a tired day

Woke up from a night of dreams. Felt very tired. Today is one of those days where I can't focus.

Luckily work is not so hectic today. I can chill abit.

Tonight have erhu. Practiced some erhu just now. Then fell asleep for like 10mins.

Counting down 30 more days.

Scoot

Today first time playing with one foot scooter. Quite nice to play, feeling the wind in face.

Played scooter at the playground, but was forced to giv it to 3 person playing ball. Ended up playing at 95 void deck. Think i will take it home after i quit.

Skechers run

Shortly after running 2xu, I jio my colleague to run Skechers 10km run. I didn't exactly trained for it, only managed to run a 4 and 6km run before yesterday.

I managed to jog 8km, brisk walk last 2km. Dashed last 100m.

Not sure of the timing. Could be it was after my period, so dun have that much energy. Anyway it was fun. Luv the runner high.

Three other colleagues joined the 4km walk.

Had dinner at putien, liked the lor mee. And chili was the best.

I will likely go run the prison run.

Work had been shitty

Work has been shitty the past one week. Had been fire fighting and my colleague going on leave for two weeks. Leaving me and a newby to fend for ourselves.

I am reminded of why I am leaving. Had enough of this bullshit job for past 14 years, especially last three. So relieved that I know my agony would end in 39 working days. Counting down everyday.

I just take one day at a time, sat going for a run. Monday will be more shit.

I will survive!! This is not the end of anyone world. Nobody died ...

All these shall pass.

Anyway was stressed, so bought a bag for 21 bucks. Haha 

Dont ever buy luxury

I was really tempted to buy another bag. I have so many bags already but I am still tempted. Erggg...

Then i realised all my uniqloo jeggings started to have some frills. But it is only a small patch, I think i bought them in Mar 2022. Had wore them for 2 years. Luv them so why would i throw them away just because of some imperfections.

Had been watching youtubes on luxury - i dont quite get why they buy so much luxury items. There is only so much you can use. The pot calling the kettle black - me myself is thinking of buying bags always.

I should strive to use things until their end of life - i just threw my meta coffee cup away. Initially wanted to buy a new one then i realised i have so many extra cups so just use 1. This should be one of my goals after I quit.

Tendered

With mixed feelings, I submitted my 2 months' notice. My last day will be 30 July.

I want to go off happy, no tears, no regrets.

I know what will likely happen - i will grow away from my colleagues. Nothing to talk about.

I only intend to continue my contact with my exercise buddy J. I knew 人情很淡薄. They talked to you because they have to. 

This has been the case always. 

It takes effort to maintain relationships and i am ok. Because i dont feel any fulfillment and i mean at the end of the day, i have to move on alone. They gave me joy but only short moments, when the job gives me stress 24 7. What is the point....

Went to a wake

Today I went to F's father wake at jurong west in the morning. Initially contemplated to take the mrt at 9am, but as we all know, in the end, I dilly-dally abit and so decided to grab there instead.

It had been 2 years since I saw F. She is my JC friend - only one that I kept in touch. After my hubby's death, I met her for lunch.

She looked ok, accepting her father's death. Such a strong woman - I wish i could do that with hubby. I need to move on bravely alone. Jiayou, you only got yourself.

She has a child, and we did some catching up - me sharing my resignation, where i lived etc. But as her child was ranning around and we chatted 1.5hr, I decided to leave so she could tend to her kid.

I could still remember how that fateful day began. Haiz if I have known, I would drop everything and go travel to China but the world then had not opened up. This is one of the regrets that I would have. See how it goes - can see if can join tour group when going to china.

Life is short - one day you are here, next instant, you can be gone. Cherish those in front of you. Leave no regrets.

If I were to die today, I have no regrets - in the sense that there is nothing I MUST do in this life. I can go in peace knowing G, Y can take care of mum very well. My only worry would be xiaobai and lily.

Reflective happiness

I just watched a YouTuber talk about happiness. Travelling only increase experienced happiness. It only last a short while, a more lasting happiness is reflective happiness. Doing things or learning things that give you a deep seated happiness.

Two more months and I will be 'free'.

I realized travelling is not really my dream. Like going to other countries touristy areas, with all the people, worries about toilet, it does not give me the true happiness or at peace feeling. I like less crowded place where I could quietly sit down and eat/drink something. I don't think I will be travelling overseas much. 

I like to walk, so I hope this is something I could do every day. I like to see the skies at dawn and evening. Music - still not sure if guqin is my cup of tea...cos I don't like to video myself. Erhu and ghzueng - will continue.

Will stop guqin after I used up my lesson package. Shall take a break.

Other pursuits - volunteer or do part time healthcare.

Luxury bags

I remembered starting to watch luxury youtubers around end of last year. I consumed youtube videos day in day out.

Why? I guessed it is something different from the usual crime, mukbang, finance videos. The luxury bag videos don't need much thinking.

I have a favourite one. I was nearly going to buy a lv onthego (2nd hand) on my japan trip. It was retailing in sg for 4500, japan one was selling around 2400ish.

Phew, luckily i stopped myself from buying. Instead i bought a marc jacob medium canvas tote bag for around 280sgd. It was from the cash that i have left. 

So it has been around 2 months since using the bag. I realised the bag is quite heavy, if i intend to walk, i would prefer not to take the bag. This was after i took the bag to explore lavender. Super regret - my shoulder was aching from carrying the bag.

Another con was the bag is bulky, others could easily knock into my bag, incredible. 

So i decided to use back my 10 bucks bag that is small and compact, yet able to hold all my essentials.

Another con, whenever i wear the bag crossbody, the handles would get in the way. Annoying - it would graze my arm....

So anyway i realised luxury isnt for me, the things they rave about the bag - the bag need babying, repairs costs, maintainance. A hassle. What for i spend thousands to buy such troubles.

Then i noticed recently the luxury youtubers are selling their bags and changing content. I could understand cos it is not sustainable for them to buy ever increasing high priced bags.

Quick calculation of cash equivalent

Later going out with Geoky to north point to explore.

Shaved doggies today. Tmr then bathe them. Today want to be lazy.

I did a quick calculation, at end July, I would buy another 3 lots of OCBC = 3*14.4=43k. This would increase my investment to 510k. Then with my 30k cash, I would have 540k.

This is what I have achieved working 18 years. A good ending if I were to die.

Although the dividends would not reach 2k, I would try track my spending from Aug to gauge how much I really need. Now, it is still quite hard.

No more shopping from Aug onwards. This would be challenging but I am trying to curb my urges.

Searching for blogs on semi retirement

There are definitely doubts on whether I could retire or semi-retire. So when I had them, I would try googling but I don't find much information in sg content.

I think is mainly that FIRE or barista FIRE is not so prevalent in sg still.

For myself, when I do find some bloggers that had made it, I felt very discouraged because most of them have more than 1 mil cash/investment excluding CPF.

I only have half of theirs which made me insecure. I wonder how they could accumulate a million bucks when I did the same. Was it because they all bought US shares while I am focused on sg stocks....

Anyway, I console myself - if things didn't work out, I can always go back to work or I can rent out a room or two. These are my backup plans. So I needn't have to worry even if I have less.

I am only feeding myself and two elderly dogs. Take things slowly bah. You don't know how long you have left.

I also have a friend who sort of retired cos she quit her job to go travel and study overseas, and she rents out her 3-room flat for 2.8k. if she could do it, so can I.

Semi retirement

With my low expenses of 1.8k a month, my investment of 550k should generate around 22k dividends a year that would feed me.

Plus when I semi-retired, I could save money cooking my own food. 

Plus music to keep my mind engaged. Plus some flexible hour part time job.

Remember to spend more time with family.

How you live everyday

Yesterday I came across a youtube video, talking about FIRE. 

One thing that struck me, was the person saying not to have a to-do list that traps you, just like your job.

He said to leave free time for spontaneity, which he said would depend on what he feels like doing on that day. Hmm later i should go do up an excel.

Why i am quitting?

Reaons to remind myself why I am quitting.

Everyday in my job, every little thing will trigger a full range of emotions.

Small things, big things, shit stuff - all will trigger me in some way or another.

I want to remain calm but my inner will ruminate over things many times over, each time it takes days to settle before the cycle repeats. 

This is why I am leaving. I have enough of the corporate world, and intend to go do lesser stress manual work.

I looked like shit, my black panda eyes, my health taking a toll, my life feels empty, all these cuminated to a breaking point. Glad whatever shat will end this July. 10 more weeks.

Wish me luck on this journey.