5D4N cruise

2018, I went on my first cruise with LG. It was the first time for both of us and we bought a 14D with a flight back package.

Well, thinking it could be our last since we heard friends saying that they dont have anything to do on the cruise.

The cruise went to 5 ports, 2 in Vietnam, HK, S. Korea and finally Tianjin. We bought some shore excursions. Anyway I only remembered LG making new smoke friends and eating buffet, and sleeping. He gained 5kg. For me, i went to watch all the shows, a course, some ribbon, towel classes, gym. 

This time, me and my sisters brought my mum on a short one cos mum not interested in long trips. Most of our time was spent on eating, resting and for me, gping to play games, gym or classes. Ate more this round, and despite seeing my double chins. Anyway exercise can wait haha. 

Eliptical

Time to go back to exercise. Since late Nov 2022, I stopped going to my gym to prepare for my surgery which was later postponed to Jan 23. After my surgery, not supposed to go for intensive exercise for 3 mth till end May 23. 

Recently my health screening results came back. Though my red blood is back to normal, total body fats, total chorestrol shot up. This spurred me to buy an eliptical that came last Sunday.

15 mins is about 100 calories, 45 mins will be 300 calories, more than my 30 mins of running. Will try to do it once every 2 days, started 15 mins yesterday.

SCI

I sold my stake in SCI 12 lots today at 4.10. Total profit is 23k after counting in the 10k that I have earned for SCM.

Reason for selling, hit my target price 4, and I thought of putting them into Singtel to earn dividends.

I believe Singtel would be able to withstand any recession that is to come.

Bonus

Going to get my bonus this week. I feel nothing. Maybe because I have had good bonuses all these years except my 1st year.

It is a good 3 months pay. I felt.happy for a split second, then my happiness came back to nothing. 

He is gone now, so what if I had money. My SCM shares were worth close to 50k, it is like a windfall. I was looking towards it but when i finally have it, I felt empty.

Nothing makes me feel fulfilled...work only make time pass faster. For past 1 week, I had been crying as flashes of his last moments came back. They haunt me and I am full of regrets. Nothing can turn back time. I can only look forward 1 day at a time. 

Maybe I will donk another 1 year before I leave. 

6 months

Still feeling sad after 6 months.

He won't be able to rest in peace as long as I am still in this sorrowful state.

I still rem how I spent last bday last year. I went to buy myself 2 pcs of cake from starbucks and dabao home.

I had my fair share of unhappy moments year 2020, I wanted to eat with him at a atas chinese restaurant. He went to jio my sis and mum. Then we drove there... but there was no carpark space. In the end, he dropped us off and went off.

Haiz I felt very sad then becos everytime I wanted something, the results were diasterous. I felt sad and lonely because other couples celebrate their birthdays but not us. That was why i decided to just go buy 2 cakes i want to eat on 2022. So this shall be the way forward. If I want something, I do it alone. Gave up asking him out to try new things.

I guess, this is life. Many things have happened, to led me to the conclusion tt I cant be happy with anything.

When I got promoted last year, he got hospitalised. I couldnt even give him a treat. Then when he was getting better tt we were thinking of doing da ri zi, then he passed away in Aug. How else could I think...

Keppel corp

KC record date is 24 feb, so owners of KC after this date get 19.1 scm shares. A 1cent movement in scm price may mean diff of few grands.

What if life purpose is to realise you dont need a purpose

Ran out of youtube videos to watch nowadays. So i would watch motivational videos.

I lost my goals in life after he passed on, because nothing really matters at the end of the day.

If you believe this life is to pave your way to heaven, then you would have a general purpose to do good.  

In my heart I hoped he had gone to heaven after helping people all his life.

For myself, this would be the end. I am just breathing. While I am still here, I just make the best.

Yesterday went go karting with colleagues. Ate crispy prata at simpang bedok. I enjoyed myself but I came to the realisation that the pain is still there.

Nonetheless nothing can take away the pain. Except to bring them as you moved on.